forgive me father for I have sinned
I can't repent
I am not your child

forgive me father for I don't believe
I am not pure
I do not give my body to Christ

forgive me father for I am an adulterer
I have laid with man before marriage
I did not save myself

forgive me father,
or not.

I forgot to tell you
I am strong
I am brave
I am going to persevere

You didn't hear me
when I told you
You are kind
You are loving
You are here for a reason

Now I am here
and I am filled with regret
because
it seems as if you
never heard me
and I know you never will

I stood there
and smiled for you
I sat next to you
as you cried

you never saw
that I couldn't
smile for myself
you never saw that
I was crying too

I gave you everything
and you repaid me
by treating me like ****

I go through times
where
I cannot stomach

living.

I go through times
where
I cannot stomach

living.

I am staring
and they aren't here,
yet I see them

I feel so wrong.

she is on the ground;
crying about
broken zippers.

I am empty.

I force myself to smile
and say
"I'm having fun."

this isn't right

it could have been
the sound
of my heart
breaking
with every laugh
and smile
that I forced

that split second
that I saw her face
and how it twisted in pain

it haunts me

the way the light hit her was almost
cinematic

she is hurting
and I cannot help
she wont let me

but I understand
no matter how much
I wish I didnt

she doesnt want to
burden me with what she is feeling as if it
somehow will scare me away

but what she doesnt know
is I am here to stay
and no matter
the amount of tears  
that she sheds
or the words she yells

she simply cannot get rid of me

but, if she holds it inside
I will surely lose her

because you should have seen her face
and how it told me
everything
without
a single word