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Inday Oct 2019
You 'up there' are the thin motion in my heart that draws in the sinking feeling from my chest to the point I collapse, leaving darkness to reside and proceeding to intensify deep in my mind; inflicting helplessness and a sense of irritability.  

My actions continue to be in alignment with the impulsiveness of my thoughts, in which I question the longevity of, and whether in that moment, 'feels like a decade of reasoning with myself' are they meant to be actioned or let pass with the storm that brews beside them, these thoughts create immense magnitude of hurt, trying to understand why.

I am convoluted in my thought process, but I manage to portray a life that looks seamless to the sheltered eye, people admire and aspire the path that's leading me, but they don't see the tears, pain, the fight and the whirlwind of criticism...my mind absorbed cynicism with comfort, there is a power in listening, observe before actioning, this skill is undermined.
Everyone's mind is unique just don't leave it in the box it was built-in.
does this make sense to you?
#sheiselaborate
#thereisnocategorie
Inday May 2019
Reduced slowly to weakness, fragile but remorseless;  my mind is the dealer and in demand for its supply, questing why it would produce such a chemical that reduces me to nothing, leaving me in the abyss.

There is a rope that dangles; I am pleading with myself to pull on it.  

You are my weakness.
#illness #love #heartache #weakness #nothing
Inday May 2019
Did you push her?
Did you watch her cry for help?
Did you see her crumble in front of your eyes?
Did you see the magnitude of your influence?
Did you feel the raw insanity in her eyes staring back at you?
You let her lay there while you watch sober, cold and coherent; you fed on her tears and broke her down until she stopped feeling. Numbness sat beside her for years.
Inday Mar 2019
She wakes up with a shock; feeling the blood boil from her head down to her toes, its the sound of that door.

The repetitive sound of that door slamming is a reminder of the poison in her life who seamlessly seeps into her heart continuing to infuse her mind with hate.

That door is used for a swinging entrance into her soul leaving it with touches of darkness until she simply can't understand how to love another person; how to empathize with another's time of distress. She loses touch, suffering to understand what love is.

The life who uses that door brought her into this world and smothers their existence with cold truths, lies, neglect, and stories of their past; inflicting damaging images and thoughts that cannot be unheard.

She's trying to persevere, but they persist to acknowledge their unreceptive response to her cry's for help, it destroys her light; leading her down the path where the poison starts to consume all her thoughts and distorts her rights to express herself with the constant feeling of never being heard.

You built darkness in her and every layer affects even the smallest of challenges in life but you left her with a flame of curiosity to understand what others could not even care to comprehend; she sustains her curiosity for life.

— The End —