So many words.
Which to choose.
Amplify.
Execute.

Which to use.

Validate.

Embolize.

Constitute.

Simple smooth ambivalence

Relative.

Dissonant.

Hellenistic rhetoric.

Romulas.

Immanence.

She wakes up with a shock, instantly feels the blood boil from her head down to her toes. Its the sound of that door.

The repetitive sound of that door slamming is a reminder of the poison in her life who seamlessly seeps into her heart continuing to infuse her mind with hate.

That door is used for a swinging entrance into her soul leaving it with touches of darkness until she simply can't understand how to love another person; how to empathize with another's time of distress. She loses touch, suffering to understand what love is.

The life who uses that door brought her into this world and smothers their existence with cold truths, lies, neglect, and stories of their past; inflicting damaging images and thoughts that cannot be unheard.

She's trying to persevere, but they persist to acknowledge their unreceptive response to her cry's for help, it destroys her light; leading her down the path where the poison starts to consume all her thoughts and distorts her rights to express herself with the constant feeling of never being heard.

You built darkness in her and every layer affects even the smallest of challenges in life but you left her with a flame of curiosity to understand what others could not even care to comprehend; she sustains her curiosity for life.

For me, every moment of contentment
is often followed by the realization
of having a lack of either ambition
or the means or ability to achieve it.
And though I can live with the lack of both.
I often wonder
why do we feel the need to be validated
by some measure,
by some reason,
to belong in one of the circles
that the world is divided into.
When we end up questioning our self,
“Who would be actually there for me
if not for the pieces of me
that I am feeding them everyday?”

How many likes am I worth?
How many swipe rights can I get,
How many super honest, friendly people,
Have I ever met?

Lights, camera, caption,
trying to reach my goal,
40,000 subscribers!
Take my instagram poll!

Should I post this selfie?
I might delete it soon,
thought that I looked cute,
but it sure wont make him swoon.

I have refreshed my page,
50 times since the start,
the want for more likes,
is tearing me apart

If I get 1,000 followers,
I will feel complete,
Does what I say matter
without a single retweet?

Lying teeth

-
         Creep
                                Dearer.
-
silence roars.
The closer it contracts,
further it draws away.

Astonished to find
You're still confined inside
Your mind.

Destroy the weaker
and hide behind reticulum.

In the realm
of a hollow crown
I absconded,
endeavoured to uncover.

I‘ve left myself behind,
an inch
beneath water

                                     decorous

A wisp of smoke
as it climbs.

Carry your shame,
rise to the chime,
an unfamiliar invitation.
Bring your mind back around,
around to this
                                    callous.

The room begins to gratify;
You tax,
obambulate,
              depress.
                       ­            diminished.


Penduluming
will never
mollify,
                           placate.


The moment you appreciate,
               Passing.
-
Treasure motive
abhor being.

Be succinct.
Prove,
Demonstrate.

validate me,
make me feel
like I am worth something.
I cannot seem to
find my own value.
I need others to
spoon feed me
likes and comments,
just so I can say-
I did well.

a whir heard at work
and when the lit end of a cigarette burns.
the trees are dead
and yet the doors are still open.
an atrocious haircut
such a misfortune.
hook nose talks to ill-fitting jeans,
tender child
shattering scream.
and I will not recall standing here in my twenties.
a boy will converse with me
and I realise that humanity is generally friendly
realise that hate and envy
are probably just pretending.
he drinks the water
and for a second I imagine kissing
aren't we all pretending?
how can you validate an emotion
that lurks on a spectrum
with no shared connection?