The holographic fairy dust bubble
that used to be us
Has exploded into
Regular dust
Grey and *****
Unwanted

I love you more than you
Could ever imagine
More than you
Could ever understand
but your love for me is no more
I am
Unwanted

He's not
kind,
caring,
selfless,
warm.

She's not
talented,
helpful,
transformative,
unique.

They're not
wanted,
needed,
loved,
known.

They're human.
And we're exactly the same.

Where has the love gone?
Am I unwanted?
Am I broken?
I've spent countless nights awake,
dying to live and living to die.

Where has the time gone?
Am I worthless?
Am I useless?
I lie in bed, wishing on stars
But unable to see them shine.

Where has my mind gone?
Am I insane?
Am I depressed?
I count the sheep
but they always run in circles.

Where has the happiness gone?
Am I afraid?
Am I angry?
I watch the moments pass
but I stay frozen in a place where I hate myself.

Where has the sun gone?
Am I alone?
Am I lonely?
A  crowd surrounds me,
But I'm alone in my world.

Am I broken?
Am I useless?
I'm a waste of space without a purpose.
There's nothing for me to save.
There's no one to save me.

Please, somebody help me
I'm losing my mind.
I'm drowning in the countless lies
I've told myself
it would be alright
but it's not.
I'm not.
Please.
Someone.
                                Save my Broken Mind.

I stand before you
Forgotten and unwanted.
In the shadow of your ego
I beg for a moment of consideration.

I breathe in
Offering you my heart.
My arms are open
Offering you my body.
My eyes are closed
Submitting my soul to you.

But you turn away.
I have nothing left to offer you.
The abundance I once represented
Has been used up.

I have no value left
Beyond what is here in front of you.
And so you walk on by
To find someone new
While I crumble into your past
Like so much dust being swept away.

21NOV2019

You make me feel unwanted.
I wonder if maybe it’s my fault::
          Did my silence make you leave?
          Did I bore you with my wrongly
          timed lack of energy?
I question my value.
Am I just not good enough for you?
You send signals I perceived as mixed.
You’re too kind to be a random passerby
Your blueberry eyes lock with mine for too long to be a courteous habit of life.
You don’t really compliment that often do you?
The hardest to dismiss is the week we met.
The proximity for prolonged time,
The warmth from how close our bodies were set.
Maybe I’m just mad of cabin fever,
Too long to distinguish hopefully wishing from an interested soul.

Next to your footsteps
I feel like an outsider
An unwanted guest