tried.
lost.
pain.
why me?

why must I feel so alone.
unwanted.
left.

no matter how hard I try.
how many times I tell myself "it'll pass"
I can't seem to bring a smile to my dull face.

why do I feel this way?
can I change?
why must I ask so many unanswerable questions.
is it just me?

why me?

-l.j.t.

Hey, hey, been racking my brain
Thinking of something to say
about my confusing sexuality
Sorry for leaving you guessing
because not figuring it out
gets kind of depressing
Am I right, or am I right
Not sure I can't decide
Don't think I'm Bi
All of this thinking
Is hurting my head
So let me put it this way instead...

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

And my Pornhub search is very extensive
Lucky I'm not a subscriber,
that would probably be expensive
Premium's what you need, Nah not me
I like it like I like my women, free.
And this attitudes why you aren't getting any
Sorry just a guy with a little decency
Can you hear me on my ***** frequency
And imagery plays in sequence
And ****** thoughts become more frequent
I'm a bad, bad, bad boy
And lately, all these ****** references are flying out my mouth
Better get the soap and wash it out

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

All these ****** jokes
Got my colleagues rolling there eyes
Just kidding, they're laughing on the floor
With this little creeper
It's all right girl, I won't hassle ya
So you can hustle my heart
break it, so I can turn it into art
Think I just set a new bar
A new record has been set
Not sure, I'll ever top it
Just like I can't get on top of anyone
That's why I'm left singing
Not pretty enough
And if you got that reference
I salute you
Don't laugh, because it's true

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

If I told anyone I was *****, they wouldn’t believe me
I live in a world that preaches against hypothetical violence but when that **** comes into your life, everyone pushes it away.
I remember, no I don’t remember, I can barely remember his name.
I think it started with a “C”.
I think he was from Minnesota.
I think we were on a sixteen hour flight.
I think he smiled at me.
I think I smiled back, because why the **** wouldn’t I.
I think he took that as a green light.
I think I shut my eyes to try and sleep.
I think he took that as a green light.
I am fifteen.
I think too little of his advances and trust society enough for me to rest.
I know that was a mistake.
I know I woke up to a blanket around me that wasn’t there before.
I know I woke up to his palm pressed in my pants.
I know I woke up screaming.
I know I couldn’t open my mouth.
I know I was screaming.
I know my mother was on that same plane three rows back.
I was fifteen.

I told my friends and they never believed me.
I haven’t told a soul since.
Why did he walk away from that unscratched while I have been carrying it around like a dead animal for three years?
Why do men think they can own what they can see?
Let me tell you what I can see:
Five people who asked me why I didn’t fight back.
Four people that were sitting around me and claimed to see him putting the cover on me, yet did nothing.
Three of his friends I saw later on the trip who praised him for what he accomplished upon seeing what I looked like.
Two eyes in the mirror that cry almost everyday.
And one crack in that same mirror that will never go away.

I took every hit, All the bruises, So you didn't feel how i felt
I gave my childhood for you, So i could protect you
Ripped out my heart, blood and all, I made it beat for you
i handed the heart to you, I trusted you ,loved you with my heart
you took one glance, show disgust on your face
threw my heart to the ground,stomped on it with your heels
dropped to my knees in agony
my body twisted in misery
my heart anguished
to ashes by
my own
mother