"You aren't going to change your life forever because of me."
He said
But it is he who changed my life forever
I thought
"Because of me"
He said
Because at once you loved me, you mean
I thought
Key word being "loved"
because you don't anymore
"You aren't"
He said
As if you have control over me anymore
I thought
But he knows that still remains true
"Change *your life"
He said
Darling my sad excuse of a life was changed long ago
When I first met you
And got lost in your destructive eyes
That ripped apart my heart, tore it
"Forever"
He said
As if he truly does believe he will have an impact
F o r e v e r
I thought
Though he may be right, he cannot
Speak to me of forever
For it is not something he knows the meaning of...*

This is not a poem of shame,
nor a poem of depression
Just simply a poem I wrote
For him to learn a lesson.

H
   E

        S
           A
               I
                 D
                       *but I thought

If you have someone important in your life, don't let them go,
If you love someone, let them know,
Life's most important things go unsaid.

Don't confuse me or hurt me
Just because you don't understand
Your own feelings.

Deaf people are sparking a conversation
But how to deaf people communicate
They speak- without relation
To each-other's state.

So imagine how many "I love you's"
Where rather not unsaid
Because in a world it doesn't matter who
Followed, and who lead.

In a world where,
Ideas do not spread,
People take their time to move ahead,
No one has anything to dread...

I am very well aware that it is a place
Where everyone is mislead.
Thus nothing can replace,
The beauty of the said

But imagine how many "I love you's"
Where rather not unsaid
Because in a world it doesn't matter who
Followed, and who lead.

How can you miss something
that was never yours
how can you want something that was forbidden?
I was taken
but you were there
your curly, dark, **** hair.

I was taken,
but you were not
you were rugged **** and hot.

you and I were close as can be,
close as can be with a boyfriend
a boyfriend who called and texted
until I iced up
swearing and yelling that I ****** up
I cheated
I kissed you
we ****** and I lied

little did he know
I wouldn't even sit by your side.
you were fragile, so fragile
I didn't want to touch you
I didn't want to shake you
or wake you from your living dream
I thought you would just break apart.
You big old mystery.
He didn't know I felt this way,
he suspected and he accused

Things unsaid,
things undone
you untouched,
me unloved.
unraveling feelings
unraveling thoughts

I thought I was happy,
so did he,
we loved each other long,
long and tenderly
It was familiar, it was safe.
He didn't know I wanted
all I didn't have

The weird thing is I was happy
and that's what makes this so bad.

You wouldn't be good, poisonous practically.
You were forbidden fruit, but I was hungry.

Now that you are gone
theres nothing I could do
I have a few regrets
one, was not reaching out and touching you.

Sometimes my best poems
Are better left unsaid,
Forgotten in my memory
For the rest of you
To read in me.

I stare into you, you into me.
And I see a language that isn't written
in the books that you read.
Or even in the words that you had conceived,
and hid away so carefully, to be unbelieved.
In your stare I am told a story, and reminded of a need,
that I also find within myself, for these words to be freed.
And in those eyes I found that these lips came to stutter,
when I asked you how many confessions could a gaze ever utter?
After a night of staring deeply into each other,
you replied, "Many," and made my heart sputter, murmur, flutter,
and then dip into the gutters, and sit in a messy clutter.
Daddy, you made me melt, I swear this isn't butter.
All for a second, I knew, you knew and we knew one another,
and I wished, you wished, and we wished to be called, lovers.

I wrote ten letters last night
one for every monologue
I should have recited to you
but at the time
was too busy
worrying whether or not
you were right