I want nothing to do with you
I am comfortable in the memories
safe, knowing I made it through
aware of the outcome
Dealing with the consequences
Of the bittersweet experience,
The terrible rollercoaster
Of your intermittent affection

If people were colors

You would be bright blue

And as a simple grey

I would probably get lost in you

I raise my gaze toward the pale blue sky,
staring out my window as I watch the world go by.
Pale cheek pressed against a ****** hand,
I daydream of travelling across unknown lands.
Fantasy worlds and magic forests tug at the back of my mind,
things that only characters in books could ever really find.
But always stuck in my room, nothing around,
how can I truly know what wonders abound?
To a prisoner, fiction is being free --
something that I know I never will be.
My frail fingers trace the words engraved on the window's wood --
"Your mind will let you be what no one else ever could."
Except how can it really let me live
if life is a present that no one will give?

You'd think that by now, I would know better than to fall for someone like you; that my heart would have realized falling for someone so unreachable was foolish. You'd think that years of heartbreak and betrayal would have taught me that some people are simply meant to be alone... that I'm simply meant to be
alone.

You'd think I'd know better than to try and make myself beautiful for you, that years of failed attempts to cover my flaws with foundation and mascara would have been enough. That I'd have realized by the third time that words of love are just words of lies; that love is only given to those who deserve it... and that I don't
deserve it.

I thought I knew better; knew that my dreams of a happily ever after were no more than the dreams of a naive schoolgirl, pining after a man that would never exist... a man that would never love her.
Knew that Sunday mornings spent curled up with the love of your life were only for those who didn't have to try, that love was supposed to be effortless.
Knew that I would never be, will never be the one anyone wants, that my soul was too tainted and imperfect to have a mate. That somebody like you was just a fantasy.

But you're here...and ever so unreachable.

will you hold on to me
even if I won't be around?
will you listen to my words
even if I won't make a sound?

will you still love me
when I won't be so lovable?
will you still reach out
when I would be unreachable?

will you even miss me
if I won't ever call?
will you try to find me
when I won't like to be found?

will you still save me
when I won't like to be saved?
will you still fix my pieces
if I won't be that brave?