Locked up behind bars like a criminal; cut off from society.
It seems as though this little birdy has forgotten how to fly; for this cruel world has clipped its wings and stripped away all joy — claimed as a pet, chained to a tree, trapped in a cage for everyone to see. Leading life in solitude has become the norm, but this little birdy can't help but long for something more.

there's a warmness to pain
like a sprout in an arid land
almost forbidden but yet welcomed
like a familiar enemy

a cushion in these thorns
the holes they pierce
a stab to the scabs
the reward is to feel

there are truths i can't tell
they can't be made words
not even in the presence of God
its the essence of my thoughts

there are enemies i can't un-love
mysteries i can't un-solve
lips i can't un-kiss
lips i can't resist

i saw my mother's boy
i saw my father's man
it took my mother's joy
it took my father's smile

here lies the man i refuse to be
in captivity i refuse to yield
in a skin that isn't me
in a place that is killing me

All my life I've tried to be the strong one, the one that cares too much about her problems but doesn't want it to show and simply swallow it every time something is wrong. I can't cry when I need to and that's something I hate about myself, the tears can't simply fall through my eyes.  When people come into my life, I get too attached to them and that's my biggest flaw. Even though I tell myself it will work this time, it's just a matter of time to realize that I will always be the one that gives everything up for the other and receives nothing in exchange. It's hard when you love someone so bad and they are not even able to look you in the eyes because they may not share  the same feeling. When I like someone I always come up with jokes, I love to kid them in a nice way. I try to be myself, forget about me and focus on the other person. Being so attached to someone can bring a lot of bad consequences and I can prove it right because I've been in situations like this almost all of my youth. You feel you get too connected with the other one, taste the flavor of love, you get too excited to get to know her and it ends up being so sick. The fact that we see each other every day, text all day and night and can't stand being apart for a little while becomes so hard when it’s time to say good bye. I just wanna know how it would be if I could find someone that really loves me the way I do. It’s sick how many times I’ve been the jack of all trades of everybody. I’m always the second one. They broke up and I’m here waiting to be loved by the one that didn’t chose me first . And it’s sad cause this had happened so many times and I’m done. I wanna feel what is to be loved, to be the one someone is crazy for, I’m really sick of not being able to know that I’m really worth it and that I don’t deserve to be the second one. I don’t know how does it feel to be chosen and that’s one of my biggest dreams. I feel like I have a lot of love to grant and I will never be able to share it with no one. I can see how everyone is happy, how they always accomplish their goals and reach love so easily. I don’t really know what did I do to deserve this. I get too excited when I know someone new and I think yeah this could be the one, but it always turn out so bad. I can’t take this anymore.