Sometimes, I have these dreams
reflecting the images
of my thoughts
That’s why
upon the earliest dawn
can’t help but wither with my loss

Even I cannot understand
what for real occurs inside my mind
Maybe if I just stop lying could
the worlds forbid on me
vanish should

Then, I discovered,
lying is my safe haven;
lies masquerade the real essence
of evil that exists
inside me and all the ones
I stay alive for

But,
who are they?
Does someone with an importance
for me
actually breathes in this place?

Aye,
For sure,
it is
simply
not the other way
around

It might be that I should
take place of the worlds forbid
on me
and
Vanish

Only this and nothing more

Once
upon a midnight dreary
Figures of a life
that never was
or
never will
fled from their concealment

Yes,
same night
as before

While I pondered nearly napping
they would return
Reencountering
the lies I’ve told myself
Everyday
and Always

Suddenly,
There came a tapping

Could it be
The Lord
reaching for my carnal soul,
Already?

The one
from my dreams may be!
Has he
for final
found out?

No; Nein
Niet

Only voices of forever
Endlessness

Merely this and nothing more

Mislead and Delude
Deceive or Perjure
Cheat, even Fool
Why so many
expressions for a word?
Lie

The cause
of my dreamful nights
of the accomplishments
I didn’t deserve
of the illusion
I’ve built around who I thought
cared
just a little

I am
the actual delusional
Here

Even Lenore
weeps for me
right now

No,
it is no concern of her
For I
nothing represent

Will I ever feel the spring
once more?
Quoth the Raven: Nevermore

Will these
the ones who keep fooling me
ever go away?

I guess not
For, fool is fair
as fair is fool
These are only consequences
of yours venom
yours, mine own

Do I deserve it?
Yes
No
Who is to judge?

The Lord?
The one I doubt of

The Serpent?
The one all doubt of

Or the one,
I’ve been deceiving
and lying
and perjuring for
All Existence?

I guess I am not
a rare and radiant
maiden like the others

Nameless here forevermore
That I am certain
Nameless here
Forevermore

i don't believe in anything fully
and i don't believe in nothing fully

how does one define themself?
no set ideals, no morals, no concrete idea of what the hell i'm doing.

making a decision is terrifying when you don't know which side you prefer.

sometimes i don't eat or sleep because i don't recognise the feelings as hunger or pain or tiredness. just white noise in the back of my mind.

i am a stranger to myself. these roads i travel are blurred and fractured.
giving myself an identity makes me feel like i have to be something.

and all i know how to be is nothing.

When you go inside a room that has been empty for a while, you can see the little clouds of dust float and shine as the light touches them. And for a long time you'll watch it drizzle down like an ethereal rain.

Maybe you'll stop moving, or cover your mouth, or maybe you'll stare at it too long it begins to look like stars in the night sky. And you'll wait for it to settle again just so it can come undone in your hands. Jumping around to unsettle it, but it'll never really be the same as the first time you saw it.

That's how you felt to me. I was the unsettled clouds of dust. And you looked at me like you couldn't believe your eyes. But that ethereal light is temporary, and once it washes away and I move away from the light, you'll begin to see me for what I am—nothing but unimportant little clouds of unsettled dust.

You're going to jump around to see me suspended in mid-air, to see me shrouded by light like an ethereal being, to look at me like I'm a starry night sky. But what happens once everything settles down and I'm where I used to be?

You can't jump around forever and I can't stay afloat forever.

There is nothing I can do
Because I’m not the star of my own story
I’m not exactly furniture either
I’m more the person they send to walk in the background of movie scenes
So it isn’t painfully clear they’ve blocked off the street
But all I do is walk
I’m not important
And there is nothing I can do