writing about #romance to keep from #triggers. lol yolo*

smiling like nothing is wrong when you dreamed about stabbing yourself the night before... #drama #fakebitches

maybe i would be better off dead... nah scars are cooler. #feelingencouraged #pressured

//                      
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
           Hello? Is anyone really there?

I open the door where the mysterious knocks came from
To enter a room full of mirrors
Reflecting a girl who has her finger on the trigger.  

                       "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
          Hello? Is anyone really there?

She stares at her reflection and asks, "Is anyone there?"
The voices inside whisper "NO"  
As if she already didn't know what this implied.

                       "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
                         No one's there.

Just before the trigger went boom
The girl just stared.
Blank eyes and pale lips as she said with gloom,
"No one's really here."

When I was little
Pain was defined by broken bones, scraped skin, paper cuts.

When I was little
The worst heartbreak was a friend not wanting to share their crayons.

When I was little
I never imagined myself as an artist.
Canvas
Brush
Paint.

Now that I am older
Pain is defined by broken bottles, sliced skin, deep cuts.

Now that I am older
The worst heartbreak is the one that comes with a missing goodbye.

Now that I am older
I am a very talented artist.
Skin  
Razor
Blood.

The jingle-jangle of pills,
in a bottle, now in the trash.
The honey-sweet scent
of liquor in a glass.

The eye-searing shine
of an untouched blade.
The Cheshire cat grin
of a boy who doesn't know my name.

Life,
Should come with a CAUTION sign.

you are cigarette sticks just lit,
you are a fresh wound on an old stitch.
a disorder spun out of control,
watching as madness takes hold - clutch
breaks - what happens next - your
life begins to unfold. creases form like
scars that never quite leave, mistakes
we break, we drown and we bleed.
i can't live without them is the greatest
lie: love kills you from the inside out,
toxic chemicals rampage fire through
your veins: hooked, hooked, hooked
lined and sunk; funny how we continue
to live with it only because we die with it.

Does a flower wish to rot
When the wind beats too hard?

Does a bird wish to fall
When the wind beats too hard?

Why do you want to perish
When life gets too hard?