Have I lost the touch
to fantasise
sober?

Solicited news runs on a treadmill,
and drips from the mug reading
Captured in Words
full of things i don’t want to know,
another ******, another corrupt business,
another hate crime, another attack,
another school shooting, another ****,
another another another another another
It’s a loop i want to cancel out with my bluetooth headphones
while glaring at the world making assumptions
on my appearance.
Listening to the only music that makes me feel heard,
that makes the hungry, the crying, the insane feel
heard.
Can’t you hear me? The screams echoing around the empty
walls fabricated by your enthusiasm for |||||||||||||| Cages.
When i find the sanity i crave, you label it childish,
that i find hope in a face on the screen
what is wrong with you that you must also take away
what i cannot give myself?
Feed into the lies, feed into the apathy,
fed up with the screams and the silence,
you ask where i stand?

i lay on a path riddled with thorns
under a scorching, searing light
but i am not allowed to die

and you ask,
why i see a bleak future
or none at all.

I wanna write a letter to you
but I thought it better if I used
my metaphores and told a story for ya
this one starts when I was young
before all that numb stuff
back before love was a cup
full of drugs
back where I grew up
there wasn't much but
a couple of us kids
livin life like we wished
the sunshined all the time
you could catch us out side
from noon till night
ridin bikes, playin play fight
on the same side, bein knights
slaying dragons with our swords
or soldiers out at war
always packing action with
whatever we imagined happend
I remember vividly
impatiently waitin for the gamin
on the end the week
on the ps 1,2,3,
360, pc, or wii, just
livin the dream with my brother
somewhere in the suburbs
in the pool gettin sun burnt
little fools with each other
gettin noodles after supper
time seemed to fly so slow
waitin on the cold
so we could go play in the snow
till we're red in the nose
knowin Christmas coming close
it was simple livin those days
when we were children
at times I miss it kinda wish it
didn't ever end though us back then
wanted to grow up so bad an
reminscin it's the same ****, it's
wishin we were somehwere different
missin out on the beauty of livin
minute to minute that's livin in now
so stuck up in the clouds
come down an look around
what you'll find is pretty awesome
opportunity begins to blossom
everything stops looking so rotten
so often lost in those Glory days
never stop to entertain that hey
maybe today's the golden age
sun still shinin an I'm feelin great

slow down bud there's
so much to do
growin up it'll
come so soon
the futures bright and
the past was great but
for a while let's
live in today

I awake , with pounding in my chest.
I'm shaking , it's cold , I can't breath.
Oh , it's the morning.
Getting up was always the worst
Taking a hot shower is what I do first.
Alone again, as water Cascades down the wall.
Never hot enough to melt my troubles after all.
Uniform and mask for the day .
Really nothing more to say.
I see faces , in the most unfamiliar places.
But I guess I'm always doing ok .
I lay down , and prepare for tomorrows way.

I know one day I will love and feel heartbreak.
But today,
I decide to live.
A day of true happiness.
One more day to enjoy my youth
with all its stereotypes and flaws.
Another day to look forward in anticipation of the future
instead of fear.
Because I started caring years ago,
I don't have to care now.
Today.