Moonlight drapes my room tonight like the ancient dust found in every old and abandoned house you enter, filling every crack, every crevice with gloom. I try and drift, for just a second but my heart drops and I'm sadly awakened again by my own delusions and perils of the night. For when I close my eyes, I see a manner of things that frighten me and my fleeting hopes of sleep are diminished. Thus the forlorn story of my insomnia repeats itself yet another night.

Amidst the eerie stillness of the evening, something mysterious jolted violently against my wall splitting the silence in two. It appeared with a thunderous thud at the end of the room that rattled my bones to the marrow. Startled, I awakened with a single heartbeat and gasping for air. In horror I perceived a lone and tall figure convulsing wildly in a strip of pale moonlight that carpeted the floor. A solitary shape of no defined earthly nature stood twitching at the very end of my bed, watching me as I stared back. Quaking, I contemplated my fate as it whispered indecipherably, putting its arm out as if to reach me.

So many nights I had heard its ramblings of insanity, so many times I had wished for death to greet me in its wake and once again, there it stood; a shadowy devil from the depths of hades staring down into my worthless soul. “Who’s there!?” I uttered, as my heart palpitated rapidly only to be replied by the silence of the night, “Hear me foul creature of the night, be gone or thou shall feel God’s wrath! Be gone dreaded beast back to the depths of hell with you!” As I spoke, it hovered nearer and nearer, its fiery glare pierced my soul as it tilted its gaze. The daemon stopped abruptly as I whispered “Amen.” An immense howl escaped the creature as it dissipated into a black cloud of evil laughter that echoed in the deepest chasms of my consciousness.

In a mixed sense of relief and revulsion I staggered out of the warm protection of my covers and beheld the mirror across my chamber. Just to check if I was still whole and among the living.
I was whole and so was my executioner.

It was dark
I was empty
I was lonely
I found him
My follower
"You're a sociopath and i find that beautiful."
He smiled
"I don't really like you all that much." He whispered.
I left into the cold emptiness
I was awoken by hell's hand placed over my mouth
I let out a cry of desperation
and I felt a knife pierce my back
"I'm only following you."
I slowly let out breaths
"Isn't it normal to follow someone, fall in love, lead them on, and leave them?"
My last words weren't there.
I was speechless by the harsh reality.

Take my arm and let it slit,
Let the blood flow in bits,
Take my body away and add it in a list,
The list of those who have fallen into abyss.

I may have ruined my wrists,
Cutting deep in the presence of a wist,
Crying and screaming in this mist
But nothing in this world is worth a miss.

Daddy,
there's a someone on my window
his eyes are red
and his stare is deadly

Daddy,
he said you don't love me
he said he's going to **** me
it's not true, right, Daddy?

Daddy,
he brings a dagger
and he's about to get in
Help! Daddy! Help!

Daddy,
he's on my door
and he looks like you
Wait

Daddy,
is that you?

Daddy!!!

Inside, Your cancer's beating heart
My ******* shakes, dirt dust gone
I swipe the sand away. For every ounce of ****
Laughing out meaty red raw steaks and size zero thighs.

     - For everythingsobad. You rattle my dream box with your sweet blue face and your gauges for neither being an idiot or being human. Too cute of you booboo. Captivity claws at you, you big bafoon, intolerant, shuffling your predicates back and forth during your 12am nonsensical *******. So long as it doesn't interfere with your curfew.

Like soggy altered-state popcorn. Your butter catches more flies than knives, the inauthentic gestures spattering over the rhythms and rolls of your fingertips is torture to watch. Kitchen countertop influenza. A tired dictionary of sad words, poor misfortunes, tired eyelids, silty and sandy crusty inside corners of the eyes

                           .rearing privilege

countertop crawlers. inaudible coos used by muses who can't keep their musings from tangling the long distance dial tone soaring through the ears like an Italian operatic melodrama. A horse, three brides, and a funeral. One woman, a sick child, blindness, blinding caused by toxins of the body stuck inside your gelatinous fishlike eyelids. Where's there an eye bib and a lance when you need one? A nifty electric toothbrush shank with extra reach and plaque protection. You're the kitchen sink they threw in, a budget meeting with a data analysis staph infection. A government where nobody wins. All the kids grow up with thin skin and an aorta with no ventricles in it. It's like the cynical prison system that we had to survive in our 8th grade basement dungeon. Thundering, curmudgeons drugging sluggishly, **** teen thugs. Preteen pornstars sluicing cash through their meaty canals, ******* the ******* and ******* the back bare in a messy afternoon of **** *******. Crusty infectious rumors made worse by brothers and moms, eating handfuls of Norco just to keep the family strong.

a crunch
a wet thud & then the slap of skin against pavement
broken cartilage
fractured bones
a valley opens
a dam bursts
thick black blood pools on the cement

your knife is glinting : recently polished
& i can see my eye reflected in the metal