I keep asking myself why...
Is it because he is too shy?
Why did he let me go?
Maybe because he doesn't know what to do?
And what should I do now?
Am I supposed to continue to crawl low?
Am I supposed to fly high?
Maybe I should take off to the sky?
Then I'd find another place to start anew...
But I am bound to stay where my heart grew...
Otherwise, I'll wither to my core...
No love means nothing to live for...
I'm just alive because God loves me...
Without Him, I won't be able to see...

I wish to tell Gabriel how I feel...
But I never get to see him for real...
Only God can provide a way...
I might talk face-to-face to Gabriel any day...
My heart cries with every message he sends...
And I don't think it will be soon before it mends...

He says he's heartbroken...
I know it is because I sent back the love token...
The little key is also back in the giver's hands...
I know his gifts have more values than magical wands...
But those two items were eating on me...

My tears don't match the sea...
But I couldn't keep them any longer...
Now I'm here, left to ponder...
Thinking about the past...
Thinking how long will the love, that has been left, last...
I don't want to give him another scar...
I don't wish to start another war...
I just want him to move on and get over it all...
Or regret and fix before we fall...
It's everything or nothing...
Right now, we are in the middle of everything...
I'm unsure about what I should do...
I wonder who am I talking to?
Is there really someone wasting precious time?
Reading my every word and rhyme?

My heart is sore...
I can't anymore...
Another painful hit...
Another dark pit...
But someone still has my trust...
He knows how to heal my heart's crust...
Time will pass by...
And both my heart and eyes will cry...
I'm tired of being pushed around...
Now I'm thrown to the ground...
I'm feeling very low...
Luckily, I'm free now...
I know that someone will help me out...
I don't even need to shout...
He is now the One I'm living for...
Only He has all the keys to every door...
I still love Gabriel...
But somehow I feel like he has said farewell...
He hasn't turned his back on me...
But he won't see...
Blind are his eyes...
And I don't believe in lies...
I wish I could do something for Gabriel...
But I'm stuck inside the loneliness cell...
The familiar walls become more clear...
But I have nothing to fear...
Even though I'm holding back tears...
I know I'm gonna change in the following months and years...
Gabriel will change too...
I wonder what should I do...
My future looks musical...
But I can always fall...
I fell so many times...
Too many to say in my rhymes...

I’m fine during the daytime;
The problems come at night.
My thoughts come out to haunt me
Sometimes they make me cry in fright.

I lie awake for hours
My face is wet with tears.
Sleep seems so far away,
Though my nightmares seem so near.

I didn’t sign up for this;
Crying myself to sleep.
Who could’ve known that now it is
A burden to be able to think?

I bat both eyelids.
She attributes motive and winks.
The right moment to think!