When I'm in my pain
I feel as if I could bear
a thousand scars
and still survive.

As one realization after another
rose up in me and wrecked my mind,
while remembering their loveless behavior
I suddenly understood that
Letting go
starts with the truth.

i can't tell you that you'll be okay
because that would be lying
i don't know if anything
will be okay,
and honestly
i can't say for sure that you'll make it to college
but i can say this.
i can tell you that you're strong
that you've made it this far
that you are loved,
even if you don't think so
i can't predict the future
i can't tell you when you'll have your next breakdown
i can tell you, though,
that you can make it through
the future doesn't matter,
not right now
and you have made it through breakdowns before
so prove yourself to the universe
once again.
prove that you are a survivor,
determined to live
even when your own mind
is telling you to die
even if you're not okay,
if in ten years
you're still in the same dark place-
that doesn't matter,
not right now, at least
right now
you are alive
you are still here, against the odds
you aren't okay,
and i'm not going to lie to you
but you are getting there.
slowly,
and painfully,
but the end is in sight.
so please,
be there to see it.

survive.

Blue marks crawl up your arms
Blood spilling to the ground

The cloth that once was crystal white
Turning red before your eyes

As I duck away from my mind
I find myself fighting back

Because this time
They will not see the pain behind my eyes

Because this time
I don't need anyone's acceptance

And I realize now
That I never needed it in the first place

You can water your plants.
You can walk your dog everyday.
You can feed the birds in the park.
But the day that you forget to sustain your plants,
or are too busy to cater to your dogs need for the outdoor experience,
or run out of bird food for the park,
things tend to fall out of balance.
Plants survive,
so do the dogs
and the birds.
They start to believe in an entitlement to your generous acts.
Something I've learned
is that it's not always your job to take care of someone else.
There's always rainstorms,
back doors,
and picnic crumbs
waiting for their turn to take care of someone.

I was once beaten
hard
by a large man
with red fire eyes
and froth on his lips.
Don’t worry, baby.
I gave as good
as I got.
That day, I learned
to survive.

-Ron Gavalik