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Clay Face Feb 2019
My arms are open
Like my mind

My love is receiving
Like my heart is empty

I am as critical
As I am in search of a pinnacle

Yet I do not chase my quarry

I seem to think she will just fall unto my midst

How lazy
How repugnant
How laughable

Naive

I preach of self reflection

But caught between two mirrors of my own hypocrisy

My vileness reflects back to me.

Blinded by my selfish lust for connection with one not of my disposition

I miss the blinding double standard

I continue to lie.

To spread pseudo-self exploration

Pseudo-self understanding

So my arms may be as open as I say my mind is

And my love may be as receiving as  my heart is empty

But my soul

My soul is as yellow
As my teeth.
hindrance Jan 2019
there’s this boy
and when he smiles or speaks or laughs i’m FILLED with joy.
he likes me and i like him
and i’m always JUST on the rim
of kissing him. or, crying.

it should be easy to feel this
i mean at the WORST you swing and you miss.
but i’ve never liked men
and i only JUST got okay again
after accepting my “gayness”. but, i like him.
should i be happy? should i admit to my family that they were right and “it was just phase”? do i even like him? or do i like the idea of liking a “him”?
Elizabeth Brown Jan 2019
Reflexively, i shut down
as trauma floods my mind.

What a ridiculous reason to cry,
what a childish fault.

One word.
Just
"Yep."
and my world crashes around me.

**** you, Lucy.
You'll never know what a decade old sentence can do.

My psyche shatters

and i fold inside myself
and my words are silenced
(but my Thoughts are not)
and my eyes are wet
and i am torn to pieces

as rough hands work to fit me back into my mold.
Philomena Jan 2019
Some people get to be pretty
And some get to be smart
I don't get to be either
So I have to fight with my whole heart

To some thinking comes easy
It's what their brain is meant to do
My brain is rather stupid
Even the simplest concepts seem new

Some people are dashing
Their looks speak beyond words
My looks wouldn't win first second
Not even third

Nothing has been easy
And that makes me tough
Cause I'm one hell of a woman
And all that fun stuff
Nothing has been easy, but that just makes it all the sweeter that I'm here.
Armand-DeamoJC Jan 2019
Did you ever truly love me?
You sure as hell don't anymore
But I still do, and I always will
Philomena Jan 2019
I know what caught your eye
Curved hips, dark hair and small dainty eyes
Aren't my eyes really something
You've probably never seen them though
Too busy looking at my chest

I love the way you call me baby
Sounds so sweet in your voice
The same voice you use on those 20 other girls
That's right I know
We all do, you're not really that clever

Well even if you're stupid at least you're cute
That silly smile of yours
And muscles for days
They really make up for the absolute lack of personality
But hey, at least you're a **** empty husk of a man

It's so sweet you're always willing to talk
Staying up late on the phone
Just get's tiresome with you always asking for nudes
I wish someone had taught you basic English
Maybe then you'd understand the word no
Yea I thought this kind of behavior stopped after high school, but no.
Lila Jan 2019
Hypocrite.
Bipolar.
Soul destroying.
One rule for you, another for me.
***. Kettle. Black.

The words I wish I had the courage to say when you carve away at my soul one word at a time.
When words hurt more than actions. The words you can never take back.
luis Dec 2018
The letter you wrote, it’s filled with you.
The letters of your eyes, the words of your lips.
I can feel your hands in these O’s and A’s,
the softness of your paper skin.
In this, did you ink out your soul,
you had dotted the I-love-you,
and crossed over to a tight embrace.
My eyes run again, and again,
Sprinting from line to line.
“This is you,” I exclaim, “you and only you.”
A lover I can tuck away into an envelope, and carry in my breast pocket,
A lover I can sit with at a table for one.
This, you have given me,
You, yourself, your whole.
Head to toe inscribed on thin paper leaves.
A gift it was, but bittersweet,
For a feeling so pure, I never have known,
but I cannot hold these words in my arms.
ok u dont love me i get it
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