Working and pregnant?
No time off

Graduated from college?
4 years; no job

Born into a poor family?
Invest in real estate

Paid minimum wage?
Work harder.

Sick in need of meds?
Only costs $750

Born a minority?
Stop being lazy

For these reasons and more
We hope you enjoy your stay
In the USA.

its so much easier to climb
into bed and pull the blanket up
past the legs that held you up all day
and over your head that's so stubborn
where all your dark shadows live

crawl back into a hole
where you can wrap yourself
in the blanket that weighs to much
to move even the slightest to get out
and walk three steps to the fridge

so the blanket gets bigger
and your body gets smaller
till there is nothing

but a blanket
              
                   for someone else

Lazily
I sip my tea
And hope to drift
Far out to sea
In dreams of calm
And gentle oceans.
Rocking in the waves.

A soft warm breeze
To comfort me
‘Neath clear night skies,
And pale moon light
To keep me safe,
From all my fears.
Cleanse out my spite.

I pray please let me sleep.

The whispers of my anxious thoughts
Creep through the dark
To pester,
To haunt.
They infect my dreams
To force me awake
When nothing more
Than peace is all I pray.

So help me.
I need to rest,
The burden buried deep
In my chest
And none can help me
Be free of it,
If I can’t name the evil within.

So I beg of thee
My darker self,
Let me fall to dreamless sleep.
And then when I
Start to rise
You may continue torture,
With all your might.
But until such time,
As a long rest achieved,
I banish thee.

Please
Just let me sleep.

I cannot seem to think on my own.
People think for me and I feel alone.
But without them I would not be around.
I hear a voice in the background.
I say background but do I mean it?
I don't, its probably just another memory slip.
Wait, I do mean it.
But instead, it's all in my head.
My best friend is my bed.
I gotta get in the booth and get emotions recorded.

Everything is distorted.
Things start to move.
I become someone else.
A new person. A new identity.
New everything.  
The whole works. I wish i was dead.
They tell me it's in my head.
I'm gonna survive. I know it look like I'm being lazy.
I promise I'm trying, my head is crazy.
I know I'm not but they don't.
And I know they won't.
When episodes occur,
I just lay in bed,
Still staying in my head.
I do nothing but pick it back up.
Whether it be crystal or my double cup.
My person calls this
Type of cycle insanity.
I love her, my family, she is all I have.
Without the love,
I would be gone.
Without the love,
There would be no me.
I need her just as much
As she needs me.
Without the love,
I do not thrive.
Without the love,
I will not survive.
Without the love,
You can push and shove
And not get anywhere.
I'm so lost in my head,
I don't even know my own way out.
I only know the way to my bed.
Momma knows best as I lay my head to rest.

No one sees the internal struggling.
The screams scratching their way up to the surface.
Endless nights crying an ocean into my pillow.
Everyone busy living lives while I am trapped inside my head.
Struggling.
Trying day after day to reach out only to be told that they are too busy to read my simple texts of despair or hear my whispers filled with screams.
"There will be better days ahead" is all I hear but my question is when?
When will those days come because all I can see are storm fog filled nights.
I am
Struggling.