There's
a
rhythm inside me that I want  craft fire to
But I never can keep up with the ticking clock

There's

a
wall that obstructs my view I want to see higher yet
What if I climb until I find out I don't like what's at the top?

One day I'll step out of line and ignore the warden who drags me back
I'll climb the tree next to the wall and dance along the top
But for now each day pulls me in a struggle unyielding
It would be a dance if my mind could process all that keeps proceeding

If I could pause it for a beat perhaps I could find my feet
But the game gets faster while I just get more confused.

I suppose I'll get used to it.  Will it always be this way?
and does it feel the same somehow to everybody else?
I want to dance perfectly
impeccably,
beautifully
in a way that's new and full of life and my own very soul

but head down I keep dozing to miss out on the pain and I shut my eyes
Squint over the wall's holes.

I see your rhymes
Playing in time
Crafting the tunes
That are on your mind

I see your structure
      Building a home
            To live in your own
               Architectural bliss

I see your simplicity
Abstraction
Emotional beauty

I see your poems
Penned out of passion
Attempts to plagiarize
What's in your soul
If only I could know them
Year by year
The poems and the emotions
And what's really going on here

In everything I do
Berate me
For everything not perfect to you
Bash me
When I make a human mistake
Just leave me
Your time is long overdue.

Break
Break
Break
Break
Break it
Broken
Braving the
Open.
Sudden.
Opportunity
Sees me
Repeating cycles of
Toxic masculin
It teases me
Poisons
Seeping in
Claiming what’s mine
The mind.
Weakening.
Beginning again
A grinning ‘been there’
The light singeing my hairs
As is breaks through the skin
Bleeding
Breaking
Broken
A break in
Rhythm
So break
Break
Break
Break
Break it
Broken
Braving the
O
Again.

Saying what I mean is
hard but structure
gives it meaning.

Syllables into lines
into stanzas
into song into x+y+z.

Formulas like algebra
critical thinking, where
to go planned before the start...

Freeform yet ordered,
words chosen and weighed.
Equation balanced and yet unfinished.

Deeper meaning, or surface?
3.14159....
How long is a poem is a life is a word
is a problem?

I write when I feel the need // To fight // Against myself
War inside // Two enemies // Never sure of what the other wants
A tango of emotions // A struggle of feelings
I pickup my pen // With the intention to win // Suddenly it now ends
The struggle is over // My emotions are released
Now I can go back to bed // Time for another day // To do it all again

jasmine jostles
leaves fold

I watch

steel and glass contain
assuaged by structure

the wind blows
but not here