you spoke with your back turned
like nothing was wrong
a kettle sat screaming
its blistering song

your eyes crack with thunder
I don’t look away.
I taste every stormcloud
and swallow the rain

you asked if I loved you
then smirked at the floor
i said it too slowly—
you reached for the door

we fought in the hallway
with breath and with teeth
your moan was a trigger
my ache, underneath

you find every fracture
then press where it stings
You say, “it’s devotion,”
and tighten the strings

we crash into rhythm
too wild to be right
but god, we were holy
in sin and in spite

your hands found the bruises
you’d left there before
you kissed every wound
then begged me for more

but still, when you’re shaking,
and all fury’s gone—
I gather your pieces
and whisper a song

I stitched up the silence
you gave me to keep
and rocked us together
til sorrow found sleep

We curled in the ash
what didn’t survive,
and found even ruin
leaves something alive.

im so angry
my emptiness
my loneliness
my everything
all my emotions
boil down to rage

why must i have such high expectations
of myself, and why must other have
such high expectations of me?
im not built for constant brain tearing,
splitting, spearing forwards, to stab the wall
with the sharp edges of my frazzled mind

im a live wire
fizzling against the ground
begging, reeling, praying
for someone to touch it
to spread its angry, fizzing electricity
through someones heart.

as i continue down this path
drinking and smoking and pushing myself
to death
the teenage dream
my rage will push me to new heights
pull me up to great things
just to spite those who wronged me.

my throat is stabbed with my own dagger
my chest rise and fall slower
my eyes are covered with grey clouds
my brain though numb begins to shout
blood flows with spite
through blood I will continue to fight

Unyielding, raging pride and spite,
A death-grip on dignity,
The indomitable will
To get off his knees and
Punch anyone who touched him
Because it hurt to move.
I get it. I've felt that grief.
So I looked him in the eye and said;
You want to fight?
Fight the floor. Fight gravity.
Get up. I know you can
Because everyone cries,
Everyone ****** themselves,
Swears and sweats and
Lashes out in panic.
That's okay. I've seen worse.
Grab my hand, don't let go.
You're going to fight gravity
And you're going to win.

Who invited the instigators?
I didn't,
Did you?
They don't work,
They don't write,
Unless it's a comment made out of spite.
Social medias were built to throw around blame,
If you like spreading rumors, may I suggest Facebook?
Wherever you do it,
Don't do it here,
You're one poem,
Can't be a line attacking people you've never met.
I'm sick of all the strays,
If you come here, come for art,
Come to write.

to ones wronged or irked by some stupid bullsh#t
and who may have an itch to do some ruin—
—ation, e.g., shoot some bullets
all the imprudent bullies
and corrupt ****** contributing to in—
—justice will do as ones to subject to a punishment
[mafias & agents of authoritarian regimes]
and if you are one of 'em
a few words regarding your funeral
[if there will be one]
hope it will be at odds with the usual
it should be a carnival to the bone
whether or not that is suitable

if words are rounds, then I̲'m gonna send
a bullet storm on sordid dictators
being, along with ro[ɑ]tten regimes
of theirs, a bunch of derm inflammations
on the body of the world; disgruntled & mean
I'm your personal Gray Hunt
[Grayson "Gray" Hunt who's a playable protagonist of the "Bulletstorm" game]
I'ma, like someO̲ne who was in—
—volved in spetsnaz & forcibly breaks ones
imprisoned for co[ɑ]nscience from clinks
one-two-three, then the bloodshed begins
[prisoners of conscience; "one to free"]
having heard "no smoking", harsh P—ayne
turned & smack—t Wayne with a "hopeless" ash-tray
["smoking" in the sense of "killing"; Max Payne & Bruce Wayne]
[Batman's "no killing" rule, which is hopeless, as well as Max's existence]
["ane" (one), "twain" (two), "trey" (three)]
————————————————————————————————
it would be nothing short of mendacious
to say I don't wish y'all misfortunate states of
affairs, like divorces & break-ups (crack!)
yeah, all the worst to dictators
hopefully, y'all ****** jerks will be faced with
infernal damnation
for every singular person paraded
civilly through streets in support of good changes
and been delivered brute force in repayment
prisoners tortured, false statements
a sort of **** lake of
disinformation, unjustified wars, liquidations
of those subverting a heinous sociopol. course undertaken
of course, fabrications when it's time fO̲r legal cases
(and elections, of course)
and nowadays, you've got Y̲O̲U̲r pesky agents
working on breaking
the web like Bourne which is Jason (Webb, David)
here come my warm salutations
to that stupid web regulator
that serves the dang Craymlin (got it?)
like your walking shyotka tualetnaya, take a
["toilet brush" in Russian]
[another sobriquet fitting the rhyme scheme: "toilet predator"]
hike; Y̲O̲U̲r limitations
hitting media insubmissive ta
the sick regI̲me which y'all sustain by dint of digital
censorship, to individuals with a set of principles
and views akin/sim. to mine, are like pork to unwave[—]ring
[the word's supposed to be read/pronounced as "unwayvring"]
Muslims; in other words, we evade 'em
(what are you gonna do about it?)
as you were told, better block Y̲O̲U̲r **** BHs
you subservient A-licks
["buttholes"; "a##-lickers"]
————————————————————————————————
now, let's revert to the arch black hats
when you get a just backlash
or, like drinks allowed for thO̲se under eighteen
minor shots, y'all schmucks get sore, 'kin to nates
["shots for minors"]
of someone earned a good lacing
fO̲r misbehaving (just like y'all)
get yourself some butthurt-mitigative
stuff, you scO̲rn-ridden vain ******
you're worthless like an ****** absorbed medication
to you procured a gunshot gorge perforation
but first you'd get your arms
and legs shot in its hinge joint parts
[that is, elbows & knees]
that's some mean **** marks—
—manship; as you may've gathered
like a workforce undertaken
reaping, you depraved dastards
with your regimes are something I'm sU̲re not okay with
minus them paid guarders
with shoulder marks worn & you're Swayze
for when your brainwa[ɑ]shers
and other order-maintaining
tools no longer make masses
conform to the mainstream
acts of force are your last resort
like a semi-island-based palace
[sounds familiar]
housing some gorgeous gals craving
to have some unchaste practice
["lust resort"]
some of those going po[ɑ]liticians or power-wielders
are by then already sordid? like forgery traders
not the type to think so
that's humankind's horrible nature
evolved to a high degree, though
still animals, thus Earth's, in a way, a
jumbo jungle; got a shade sidetracked
like a train, my bad; I'ma explain, like that
Malaysian Boeing Ukraine skies'd had (ex-plane)
[had had]
before it got razed 'kin/sim.
to the outrage of folks storming a place which
a c#cks#cking usurper is based in
["raised"]
the earlier stated
"BFWID"; once you are no more animated
like a cartoon paused, the verdict is plain 'kin/sim.
to a suit that is mourning-related
a torrid vacation, metaphorically saying
yet no point in packing Y̲O̲U̲r freaking raiment
since Y̲O̲U̲r destination's nothing short of pure Hades (if there is)
["sins"]
in fact, unlike some of you, I'm irreligious, but
it doesn't mean I'm cold to medieval stuff
like a hedonistic brush with a chick replete with lust
in this realm, there may be a wicked **[ɑ]t
time for you; akin/sim. to witches stuck
to those stakes, you may end up lit as f#ck
like after a cig. with **** you are
in the garden of the post-en—lightenment time going
["thyme"]
which, in fact, is the reason I
["reason I" is supposed to be read/pronounced as "reasoner"]
and others with opinions similar
to mine think Earth's in need of getting rid of ya
————————————————————————————————
chief authoritarian crooks worldwide
and all those contributing to their rule of vice
you know what have just come tO̲ my mind?
look, douchewads, why
don't y'all take a tiled-rooftop hike?

I will live in spite:
I will be proud of life,
I will cherish the warmth
It will have many forms.
I will fight
I leave all the pain aside.

I will live in spite:
You'll find light in my eyes
And wherever it lies
It will grow and thrive.

I will live in spite
If you want to destroy me
You'll **** my body
but my spirit will be alive!

--
Ukrainian:
Я житиму назло:
пишатимусь собою,
плекатиму тепло,
що жевріє в неволі
і як би не звело
сміятимусь від болю.

Я житиму назло:
в очах цих буде світло
і де б не залягло -
там виросте й розквітне.

Я житиму назло,
захочеш мене вбити:
ти тіло умертвиш,
та дух мій буде жити!

lyrically, I kind of feel like an assassin
at the task point & equipped with poison darts
for I'm 'bout to let fly an attack in
this b#tch with toxic bars
pointed, like v𝗜per's fangs, at an
outfit of office bo[ɑ]ds/do[ɑ]gs
kno𝗪n 𝗔s "Electro𝗡ic Ar𝗧s"
at the time it was found
a certain game of thine is shut down
like a chipmunk, I went nuts
'cause, for keeps, I'd lost 𝗠𝗬 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗦 (lost)
on styling which, several hours were spent
thanks for all the time wasted
don't even have screen captures of them
awesome, amazing!
——————————————————————
when it comes to discussions like games get
human noggins go crazy
it's not them themselves are stuff to put blame on
it's, among things not mentioned, such situations
——————————————————————
now getting 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞
to those responsible for that scoundrelly act
and probably not giving an ounce of a f#ck
like a tire drifting down a speed track
["attire"]
it's gon' get smoky & **[ɑ]t (for you)
barbecue; so go hit a dog & bone & ring up
["heat"]
a local smoke eaters squa[ɑ]d
'kin to "Rebel", I scream f#ck the suits
["keen"; "ice cream"]
like somebody chosen to o[ɑ]pt
for a punk-like look
but you can all get choked by asco[ɑ]t (lethally)
as if you were getting iced by someone who's
got Caledonian blood (a Scott)
appetite to hunt unful–
–filled; you're in it to make bread like *******s
["field"]
but don't be swift to get laid-back, don't chill
akin to potatoes & sh#t
like that, better maintain your eyes peeled
better still is beating a hasty retreat
'cause it's me in the same freaking field
["freak in field"]
the Creeper, in it to prey like a priest
["pray"]
as if you were ****** in religion (horse?)
I'm speeding your way like a whip (vroom-vroom)
in other words, you're in fO̲r some moll-treatment
told I'm in it to prey since it's writ
large that you're being a game in this b#tch
which, in turn, is the reason I'm playing a bit (with words)
to say it in brief, you're simply collation to ge[ɪ]t
let me add a medievalish taste to this sh#t
["evilish"]
arranging it akin to the H & the G
["a range"]
not "H" & "G" as in hunter & game, though
"H" & "G" as in Hansel & Gretel
i.e. with you getting ablaze like a witch
with this one, might be given a place in a list
of ones given to making it lit
in the middle of taking a trip, the freighter's equipped
and fit for action like babes in dance clips
the cargo's like a pro[ɑ]stitute
becau[ɑ]se it's gon' go down on you
a kind of mood to bust the roof
of the "Arts" HQ; an armored loot
box, large & toom, will pro[ɑ]b'ly do
then dump on you a multitude
of fla[ɑ]sks produced
from gla[ɑ]ss & full of ga[ɑ]s, then use
a bottle of Molotov
like pirate dudes, I spark the fuse
the falcon shoots, the target's doomed
dead in the water, so a po[ɑ]ssible res–po[ɑ]nd from you (pond)
is nothing short of garbage-good (dead in the water)
[lyrical waters]
these bars being by the side of you are like balloons
within a reach of clowns
in other words, you might get it twisted now
but it's time for you to find a new **** jo[ɑ]b in view
of the lines above becau[ɑ]se it looks
like I̲'ve zilch short of go[ɑ]tten you
fired, which is why I̲ feel like a bo[ɑ]ss 'kin to
a vehicle used bY̲ whelps to get brou[ɑ]ght to school (bus)
exorcism bout
for it's like getting demons out
[letting demons out]
guess you, "EA", have already figured out
the amusement which shutdown
my pen is steamed about
it's "NFS: W"

poltroonish authoritarian skunks ruling
for decades & helped out by hellhound-like
guards authorized carrying guns, fE̲w friends
[law enforcers, personal security service agents & army]
from young adulthood turned partners in unruly
enrichment, pesky agents of cyber—
—space censorship, an unjust jU̲di—
[the "partners in crime" phrase]
—ciary, submissive legislators for power
abuse, plus bullsh#t-
and hatred-spreading information supp—liers (wassup, y'all schmucks)
["liars"]
a whole palace of corrupt tU̲[ʊ]shlicks
[the main thing ones mentioned have in common]
deserving to end up chastened by fire (chastened by fire)
which is one of the proposals I wO̲U̲ld give
["witches", which connects with "end up chastened by fire"]
as a reply on "how shO̲U̲ld ******
that hold power & are sick with
cold-bloodedness be treated?"
of course, the world has some gO̲O̲d things
to o[ɑ]ffer, but human—
—kind; for the most part, it's o[ɑ]ff-putting
like an option regarding wha[ʌ]t should be
done with that ******[ɑ]tic **** ruling
in the underdis—banded mafia lA̲nd east
of Europe (nullify the ****** mo[ɑ]bster)
["off [the surname of the dictator of the area mentioned]"; "bandit"]
it's a world of wro[ɑ]ngdoing
which is why it requires ones whO̲'d be
like mechanics, getting the ***** jo[ɑ]b done
getting Earth purified fro[ʌ]m
walking pieces o[ʌ]f dung
such as key figures o[ʌ]f ***
autocratic regimes & mo[ɑ]b ****
————————————————————————————————
you know what's a[ɑ]musing? I've be—gun putting (down)
together this one listening to some dumb music
party-fine tunes with
wicked E̲DM sounds, whI̲ch can be found in different styles
["different" is supposed to be read/pronounced the 3-syllable way]
amongst which is twerk
like a dance by a magic-practicing gal wI̲th her stern
bouncing; not a life teacher learned
["witch's twerk"]
heaps 'bout it, but here's something wise: since this world
["hips", which connects with the twerk subject in the preceding lines]
is sick, like the NO-WAVE-made
tune "Direct Action", or like that spite-ridden verse
of "POAA"
[the producer's name is spelled as "N O W A V E"]
[the phrase "this world is sick" is the most repeated part of the tune's lyrics]
[the rhyme piece "punishment of an autocrat" written by me]
sometimes it is worth
distracting our mind by things preferred
by us, esp. when our spirit's hurt
like hell; wish I sometimes could, like one free of coarse
language, no[ɑ]t give a curse
[the "to give a tinker's curse" expression]
about what's go[ɑ]t mE̲ disturbed
not sure if this is fine for uplifting words
like a penalty charge issued for
giving an encouraging speech, but I̲f you're short
on high spirits, or feel destroyed
or even feel so hor—rible that this flipping world
you want to see it burn
just like the mentally *******, yet supply—
—ing-food-for-thou[ɑ]ght guy
introduced in "Dark Knight", try doing wha[ʌ]t I
think can be of some help during hard times
[the Joker from the film mentioned & the Alfred's quote about him]
[which goes: "some men just want to watch the world burn"]
[both, the world & the Joker referenced in the latest lines]
[are sick (crazy), hence the choice of "flipping" (going crazy) toward "world"]
whatever unwicked, whether it's artistic, sport
or recreational, you like, or are eager for
(there has to be something)
just ge[ɪ]t immersed
into it, like someone who dives, leaving worth—
—less weighty stuff like doubts, fears ashore
get immersed & get enjoyment
out of the respective moment
————————————————————————————————
wish I had
a mind arranged like that