I hope no one sheds a tear
Instead laugh and rejoice at all my triumphs and fears
When I'm gone
I hope those that never cared
Call and tell their darkest of why they were never there
When I'm gone
I hope my story will be told
Hope someone takes it
And know that they'll grow
Hope every depressed person
Person with bipolar
Stress
And anxiety
Know they weren't
struggling alone
That I to
Was battling demons
Of my own
I to cried every night
And felt alone
No matter how many "i love you's"
And "i care"
I had nobody to call home
Thinking "why don't I just blow off my dome"
Yes I to have had nights
Where it was silent
Not a sound
But my heart
shattering and falling apart
Not a sound but my thoughts
Piercing through the dark
Not a warm hand
Or a warm heart
When I'm gone
I want people that think they can't make it
That it's to hard
To know I'm there with you
No matter where you are
No matter how far
When I'm gone I want a letter to be read
To every family friend or person that wished I was dead
A letter reading
All my struggles
All my pain
Fears
And give ups
I want those that thought they knew me to KNOW me
Not the masked me
The vulnerable me
The broken scared
"Caged animal" me
The beautiful mess that I was
And will forever be
When I'm gone I want my first love to know I wish he was my last and even after all this time has passed
My love for you still lasts
I want my children to know
That we are one with our souls
And as you grow old
Know I'll hold you close
And in your time of need
Call upon me
And when one is weak
Remember me
For I will
And for I always will
Love you
When I'm gone
For all my family and friends
Know that I tried to be strong
That I was strong
And forever will be
~fin~

The higher I go
The more things become bizarre
I don't have a lot to show
But I know I'll make it far
Even with all these scars

Everything is swell
here in hell
We are united
And we make the best of it
Not corrupted, just illuminated
A true free spirit is he
Who is not morally restricted
We do not judge
Only love

Feel no guilt
Become an outlaw
Do what thou wilt
Shall be the whole of the law
So mote it be
Society too shall see.

beyond

good and bad
right and wrong
love and hate
beautiful and ugly
god and devil

is an undivided me
at home with my self

The fear of our nature
Has the love for the future
And the tears of our pasts
Can only be taken with love

To the horror that we each face
Inside the depth of the sorrow gaze
With the language of love and hate
Spoken by a higher name

What mystery is there to solve
What beauty is there to see
What shadow is there to chase
What dream is there to forgive

In the deepest part of our heart
We hear the calling of the void
Filled with unspeakable love and hate
To the end and the beginning

Out of fear
we loved,
and out of love
we feared

One ambition, one direction
A new dawn
While in front of me stands Babylon
There it stands
Ripe with perfection.
The place of sin, filled with corruption
The true place
For salvation.

she is blossoming
her truth
discovering the wisdom
within her higher self
channelling divine energy
she is mother earth’s child.

breathing in
the morning sky
feeling soft grass
beneath her feet
hearing the wind
whisper gently
her lover
by her side.

it was then
that she realized
she was not alone;

everything is interconnected.

Your voice haunts me.
My aching for you is like a hint of perfume on a stranger's neck that sends me -for a moment- back to childhood to my mother's arms, her humming in my hair - 
a half-remembered dream slipping through the window into the night.


Will I ever know the taste of the air? I imagine it tastes like honeysuckle and laughter.
Will I ever dip my feet into your star-drenched skies?
Will I ever watch the sun setting to the sound of cicadas singing their wild hymns?
Will I ever wake to mornings heavy-laden with mist clinging to the pines, dense and fragrant?
Will my feet ever wear the mountain paths in prayer and wonder?
Will I ever call you home?


---

Thank you so much for reading.