fear is an illusion that feels more real than life itself, at times. scores of artists have succumbed to the despair brought upon by the fear of overexposing themselves. you know them - the writers who won’t write - the painters who won’t paint - and the sculptors who won’t get their hands *****. maybe you’ve even met one or two. or know someone close to you who might be of a certain poignant disposition that’s impossible to ignore. if not, perhaps it’s time to have a closer look at the mirror.

it’s true that those who dare to traverse the forest of the unknown must encounter the beasts that lurk in the darkness. some are benign. some are malevolent. at first, you’re terrified of them all. but as you go farther and deeper into the forest, you soon realize that they’ve become some of your dearest friends, despite all the wounds you’ve inflicted upon each other during your skirmishes. you learn to tame them, feed them, and eventually, cage them. yet after all this, the question, or rather, the fear remains - can you ever bring them out into the real world? and more importantly, what would they do to your mind if you do?

a scary thought for many artists, indeed.

but perhaps these ‘beasts’ may not be as bloodthirsty for our spirits as we might think. perhaps, it’s about how we personify them in our minds. there’s a beautiful poem by charles bukowski called ‘bluebird’ that speaks exactly of this fear, and perhaps even offers an antidote. it immortalises the little bird in the writer’s heart, a rather benign beast, that sings every now and then, unafraid, and in spite of what its captor might think, or feel, or do. it reminds us that it’s okay to let the bird sing every now and then - because it will - and not let it die so finally. it implores us to not sacrifice it at the altar of perfection, but rather be gentle with its humble feathers.  

something i believe we could all do with our own little bluebirds.

That day I got so late
Not aware of what's in my fate
I got only a glance
That was enough to put me in a trance,
It was her moving effortlessly
Like if she had wings
The pleasure I got & the joy she brings
Both are wholesome just as springs

Even in just a sight
There took place a fight
Between my heart and thoughts,
The heart won so the thoughts got controlled
I chose you to be my destiny,
Because you are the only one I behold.

She's not a poet
But I find something more than poetry in her lips
I found a poem full of bliss
That showered through her words
That I know I'm gonna miss
Words uttered through her mouth
Slayed my dizzy heart
Those words were the charm that made my heart warm.

Loving you
Is as much an imprisonment
As it is a freedom.

Imprisoned by the thread of deep knowing
And shared experience...

Held captive by a longing heart -
Stuck in the memories of yesterday.

The ache of love is heavy in my chest,
Squeezing at my ribcage
Like a straitjacket.

The more i struggle for freedom,
The further entangled
I become...

For loving you
Is my life sentence.

It is the cage in which i now willingly sit,
Accepting my fate.
As the monk who sits in his cave -
I have made peace with my decree...

To be held,
In this love...

Forever.

Black smoke obscured my view
Unable to see
Invisible hands out of the blue,
Demanding I cease to be.

Like leaves in autumn dangle,
My memories on the verge of descent
Words spoken weave a web of tangle
Leaving only me to repent.

Trees rustle,calling me home
Black shadows followed, darker than coal.
Isolated I stood but never alone.
In remembrance of the faces that time stole.

Now you dwell inside the rhythm of my breaths,
As close to us as we are to ourselves,
Even though your days were brief,
Your spirit was live awake and complete.

Golden rays paint the dawn, as a new day unfolds.
Hope blooms in my chest, tinged with a restless awe.
A sense of longing stirs, a whisper of what's to come.

To share a sunrise with one who understands,
To sense the earth's pulse beneath naked skin,
To feel the dew flow down my body, between my legs,
To awaken, body and soul, bathed in light.
The scent of damp earth fills my senses, my skin shimmers,
Melding with the dawn, I become one with the land.

A prayer on my lips, a silent plea: May she see the light within me, and meet it with her own.
The forest awakens, birds take flight, leaves rustle in the breeze.
In this sonnet of nature, I awaken my lonely soul.

I yearn for soul liberation,
To break free from all temptation,
To cast off every bind,
And leave the world behind
All earthly limitation.

The soul, by nature, needs but naught,
For freedom is its inherent thought.
But my flaws have held me back,
My vision blurred, off track.

What truly do I need?
Nothing, indeed.
Yet greed consumes my inner fire,
My own desire.

Devoid of true enlightenment,
I chase a fading light.
My vision veiled, my eyes concealed,
By fear, my heart revealed.

Lies will sting, anger will blaze,
Karma's wheel will turn its gaze.
I await the reckoning true,
My soul's awakening anew.

Who will absolve my deepest sins?
My thoughts, my inner demons' din.
They've led me down a murky trail,
Where nothing does prevail.

My flesh decays, my mind erodes,
My memory's path eludes.
I speak in riddles, devoid of sense,
My soul, a labyrinth without defense.

Who will decipher these mysteries?
The hidden truths that set me free?
The answer lies within,
My true self, my origin.

Oh, to be a soul liberated,
From all worldly attachment alienated.
To live my life with authenticity,
In true detachment, with serenity.

i soulfully wonder
of these devoted feelings i have.
because the quality it posses
is abysmally surpassing
the extremities of emotions.
simply to tell that,
i am madly
attracted.