I remember pressing my
innocent ears to the mouths
of discarded seashells, just to
hear their secrets; and I shared mine.
They told me secrets in the form of
ocean waves and whispers of wind
between the fingers of the palms.

On days that I feel the world
crumbling and combusting
around me, I press my wiser
ears to the same lips that kept
all my secrets safe. I remember
the advice seashells gave to a
young girl who'd felt discarded.
Be like the ocean, let it flow.

abandoned flower fields and the lazy afternoon sun
our footsteps falling into a steady rhythm
we are almost like music in this place of lost
and neither of us seem to remember

my fingers touch the edges of your hand
trying to establish a connection that I have long craved
and normally it is not okay
but this time you let mine fit in the spaces between yours

we find a place of solace and dry grass
you are a mere inches away but I am still afraid
still afraid of what this is
still unsure of what it may be

we’re both a little tipsy, I must admit
you lie down on the ground and count the grooves in my spine
and I try to think of something to say
but  all my years of words have failed me now

is it okay?
are we really okay?
because it has been a while
and a lot of things have changed
but I still don’t know if we are right

all they have said is that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be
this isn’t how things line up in their world
but we have a world of our own
and I would give anything to be entangled in it

this is the only time we can really escape
from the stares that will judge who we are
from the expectations that we never plan to meet
this is the only time that I can belong to you.

Up with the rising sun
my soul burns
in this never-ending hell

I seek answers
in the silence
I search for solace
in the forlorn beauty

A sickness rises within

The road looks bumpy from down here
I'm sorry that sleepwalking me loves jackhammers
And wondering what else she can mess up
Without a concept to time to tell her when to stop

I'm sorry about my gasoline decisions and my flaming attitude
I burn everything I touch
Nothing near me  goes undamaged
Nothing  near me stays
I can no longer tell if I'm setting these fires while I'm awake or not
Though I doubt it even makes a difference

Somethings crept it's way under my skin
I haven't been myself for weeks
Every word seems to roll off your tongue in just the wrong way
I'm not saying it your fault
I swear i see a slyness in your eyes
I'm not saying its your fault

My pens have run dry and so I have I
I have said all I can say
I must now be on my way
I wish nothing but the best of you

I would ride all night
on a broken down mule
To be with you
once again

I would walk on glass
through the desert
If it would
alleviate the pain

I would crawl
across the mountains
If I could you
as you were
again regain

I would swim
the entire ocean
For you to know
my love will still
forever be true

Still nothing
brings any solace
Except the company
of someone who doesn't
always remind me
of you.

-R.

8.31.17
-LA

-MAR