insomniac

tangible darkness
let me take a picture of you

paint you on the wall
scribble your name on waters

in your naked form
bend you, so no one else

knows you but me, alone

insomniac darkness — tell me
my muse, let me taste you,

bewildering, like arrows in disarray
and white birds

surreal as falling seraphs and forked tongues

moist darkness
what is sulking inside you must submerge

with manta rays hemmed in circles long ago
curled horns probing, testing bygones,

frozen dawn condensing my azure dreams ashore

A few sleepless nights ago
I was embraced by
nothingness
Indulged and caged
With nothing but a dull sentiment
I was not hurt
I was not pained
I was simply distant
With no reasons

Acute to the place from where my regret will stem
It's 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn
Anxiety floods my synapses

Regret is a dish best served deceived
With my own two ears, I heard the truth
But, I still had not believed

I speak from a place of squandered ambition
Of fecklessly feeble, and imprudent volition
I buried my treasure, and forgot where it was when I turned around

Indulging my sloth, my lust, and pride
My conscience was seemingly silent
Though many times, I should have died

I sold my costly soul at once, to buy a gin and tonic
Hello my name is Adam, and I'm a hopeless alcoholic
So, at 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn

And, my tenuous will fell asleep already...

a swirling mass of thoughts
a feeling of incompletion
and a sense
of no direction

spending nights awake
letting consciousness fade
and all days
go to waste

held in a stasis
waiting
for my catharsys

It's been three sunrises since my eyes have closed
Ain't had a drink in one long week
There's toil and trouble, my brain is like rubble
My vision is blurry
Mine eyes doth see double

My conscience has not been acquitted
I sold it to the highest bidder
My brain is a mess, a pawn within chess
By my demons, I've been slighted
There's much to confess

Ambition had been twisted in unscrupulous knots
I stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun rose
My mind is a maze; I've been up for days
My stomach is empty
My demons sing praise

I haphazardly buried my reckless past
Indeed, it repaid me with a cruel vengeance
Collecting my fears through so many years
I've poisoned my body
With too many beers...

nightwatch
moon shadows
toss
moon tides
turn
what time is it
nightwatch
flip the pillow
tuck it here
tuck it there
nightwatch
creep quietly to the couch
to read until
night sounds conjur
a mystery . . .
images fade
welcome the dream
dogs barks
why do we have dogs
check the nightwatch
daybreak
sigh
what compells the day so quickly
when there has only been a
nightwatch

Tangled unfinished thoughts  
rehearse midnight waltzes
in attempts to fill the gaps
left behind by transient dreams