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Adam Kinsley May 21
I writhe in my anxiety:
A ghost of what has passed
Such solace fled so far from me
My hopes are failing fast

I gave up of my will to love
Love soon had turned to blame
When push becomes a violent shove
The bottle called my name

This Hell is where I made my bed
Where all my demons thrive
At once, my conscience turned and fled
I'm lucky I'm alive

It's been ten years since I felt well
When then, I lost my hope
I writhe in my genetic spell
My brain can barely cope...
Adam Kinsley Apr 19
Acute to the place from where my regret will stem
It's 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn
Anxiety floods my synapses

Regret is a dish best served deceived
With my own two ears, I heard the truth
But, I still had not believed

I speak from a place of squandered ambition
Of fecklessly feeble, and imprudent volition
I buried my treasure, and forgot where it was when I turned around

Indulging my sloth, my lust, and pride
My conscience was seemingly silent
Though many times, I should have died

I sold my costly soul at once, to buy a gin and tonic
Hello my name is Adam, and I'm a hopeless alcoholic
So, at 4:30 AM: my thoughts condemn

And, my tenuous will fell asleep already...
Guess at what time I wrote this?...
Adam Kinsley Apr 11
It's been three sunrises since my eyes have closed
Ain't had a drink in one long week
There's toil and trouble, my brain is like rubble
My vision is blurry
Mine eyes doth see double

My conscience has not been acquitted
I sold it to the highest bidder
My brain is a mess, a pawn within chess
By my demons, I've been slighted
There's much to confess

Ambition had been twisted in unscrupulous knots
I stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun rose
My mind is a maze; I've been up for days
My stomach is empty
My demons sing praise

I haphazardly buried my reckless past
Indeed, it repaid me with a cruel vengeance
Collecting my fears through so many years
I've poisoned my body
With too many beers...
I wrote this just now, and I haven't slept in nearly 40-50 hours. Hopefully, it makes sense.
Adam Kinsley Mar 20
I bathe in lust and spite
My conscience doesn't feel right
The obscurity helps us writhe

This awkward silence embraces
We tried and failed to start once again
So, let's forget our faces

Eyes wide open at four AM
I wish, for once, that I could finally sleep
But, sorrow sown, I stolidly reap

Despite my intention, I boldly lied
I aspired to change, but never tried
Due to my inert intention, I conceded my mind

I opened my mouth, but forgot what to say
I left blood on that lonely highway
To the Devil's chagrin, I took two steps back again

I opened my eyes, but couldn't see
Opaque ambition is far from me
I'm Anxiety's best friend

If I have to be...
Adam Kinsley Feb 20
I stumble recklessly through my timid thoughts
This bridled resentment destroys my conscience
Despite my intention, I ceded my morals
The morale of my virtue plummets by the second

Dissension among my synapses seethes to the surface
I am a house divided against itself
Regret lovingly entices my bloodthirsty demons
She shrugs surely with shivering shame

With my vision impaired, my dreams are soundly asleep
Kept calmly in this cavern of my cantankerous crimes
My respite is met with malice and spite
I cannot escape what these two hands have done

My distress is hidden in silence
I had already dashed my untarnished ambition
I awaken in sweat and confusion
As an empty bottle mocks me with cruel contempt...
Adam Kinsley Nov 2020
I writhe in my anxiety
Still wishing I could sleep
My conscience ran so far from me
I've sown and now, I reap

I'm blinded by the lies I've told
And, petty, selfish lust
Regretful schemes are getting old
I'll fail to earn your trust

Indulging in such reckless vice:
I wish that I had fled
What demons will I soon entice?
I know, they want me dead

The nights are stern, as once they were
With all my sober thoughts
What bold chagrin will I incur
While aspiration rots?

Forgetting all my fatal flaws
I still have never learned
I'm sure I'll find a coupled cause
[To all those bridges burned]...
Adam Kinsley Nov 2020
The sirens will play
Blood on the highway
Such hazardous parts:
Our menacing hearts

Reason was blinded
Lust hadn't minded
So hopelessly vexed:
We dreaded what's next

Our schemes were derailed
We tried and we failed
She lives by my pen:
Destroyer of Men

Our schemes had begun
My demons had fun
So surely, I find:
I'm losing my mind

In dreams, she appears
I'm plagued by my fears
In silence, we flee:
Regret, death, and me

So solemn and crossed
I'm helplessly lost
Where once she had fled:
She's trapped in my head...
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