In the quiet of the night,
it's when my mind can't seem
to keep quiet.
Running at a hundred miles with no
stopping.
Head spinning and mouth
drying,
stomach turning with
non-stop reminders of the
what if's and never know.
All the things I shouldn't think
of.
- dizzy.

I lay there in darkness
In a silent black limbo
And my soul feels tired
But my mind has other plans
My mind is awake
It races through every though and action of the day
Nodding to the accomplishments
And contemplating the failures
And after a nod or two that's where I remain for a while
The failures
My failures
And so I'm laying in the void among my flaws
Sleepless
Helpless
And my brain goes everywhere stringing things together
And making things up to fill the voids
Until I break and the tears fall
They're soft on my face and quiet
Until they too fall into the darkness

It's oppressive darkness, sometimes not dour enough
With silences that are never really mute
A rustle of sheets, and dead leaves crushed underfoot

It's a shiver that creeps up my spine
Like a flickering lick of flame
And the velvet embrace of absence
Or dreamless sleep

It reminds me of all the things I run from
And all the things I fear to lose

my body begs for forgiveness.
a break, a chance to run away
from this constant pain.
i'm exhausted.
maybe it's better off this way.
who knows who's looking for me.
who knows what they'll find,
i've been lost inside myself for years,
so they need to watch their strides.

The song I played for you on the phone,
The jokes you had me on,
It’s things like that,
Making me feel so alone,

Had to leave so many houses,
Just to find out, non could be a home
It’s things like that,
Vanishing me when I wasn’t even gone,

Standing by the window in the dark,
Wondering where I lost my spark,
It’s things like that,
Always bleeding, leaving a heavy mark,

I want to sleep, but oh I can’t,
I need to, but I don’t feel a thing,
It’s things like that,
Freezing me inside and out,

There’s so much to weep over,
But the tears seem stagnant,
It’s things like that,
Leaving me —insignificant remnant

If I ever had one, that soul’s dead,
Brutally murdered, not once,
Sometimes with words,
Other times —silence

Sleepless , wanting to sleep less
Do more , see more , be more
Wanting to hear less , feel less , fear less
All because of more , I just want it
I know it’s out there for me to grab and that’s one thing I don’t want to be ..
grabless

I´ ve lost the count
of sleepless nights
when dark window
mirrors my face
I no longer recognize
without you
I am nothing