a soft breeze, waves lapping against the shore

circling around and around, every time learning something new

an exploration of self; a journey of pleasure

sweet caress

wet, wet, wet

it's like the tide is whispering to me

release

a moan like a sigh of relief

there is no shame here

only love <3

To my young eyes
To my innocent heart
I remember the world was a blueprint on canvas
It was a dream undreamt
It was a song unsung
As if in a crib, I looked about me at the stars of the cities
Constellations of people hung about
Their wounds and aches, joys and laughter, were the myths
Like the Zodiacs, groups of these people
Could define a person
Yet believing myself undefined, I strode out from shelter
Fearless
Untamed, I ventured to find my purpose
A purpose that would shake the mountain
Rain down the ash of winter
Smother the pits below my dreams
Cull the nightmares that stoke my fears
I waited
I waited, I waited
I tell you the waiting became my purpose
Finally, there, in the clutch of time, I found my calling
I will tell you all of the waiting
I will tell you, don't wait...

Don't wait for the door to ring
or the latch to unlock

Do not wait for the song to play
or the band to sit

Open the door
Be the composer
Be the pilot of your dreams, be the chieftain, be the god

While waiting for what I could be
I saw everyone else become

With the zeal of their hearts
I saw them build, I saw them grow
This one built a nest
That one stitched a doll
Now the doll's a mannequin and my waiting missed the change

I waited for the waiting to end
I waited for the wanting to decide
I waited for foe or friend
I waited until
there was nothing left inside

Where is the zeal of my heart
The timbre of my soul
I lost the sight, the sound, the love
because waiting took its toll...

It’s the buzz to the brain
and the lack of restraint
and all this pain
I carry with me

It’s the way it catches fire
and makes me a liar
so I have reason
to hate myself

It’s the way people
say my name
without any understanding
of what it means

It’s the reflex,
I guess,
that causes all this
pain seeking
muscle memory

"From the days of John the Baptist until now,
the kingdom of heaven has been advancing forcefully..
and the violent, seize it by force."
--Jebs


ahem..

By 'his scrawny little neck' she grabs him
and  pulls  Him,  from  his  Throne--
"******' know it all..  he don't know ****.."
    blurts out  she--

    the all-seeing,  ever defining one.

The paint on her war-brush
is the blackest of blacks..
     as she  brands  me

     for  the  o r b it i ng,  of her
     that  I  so clearly  lack

And an ability that is all hers,
       not mine--
      The one, self-given..
      the  power  to define.

And, she wonders where mine came from;
me-- who was once a mother's son..
As I  ******  the grown-up  a l l  of me
in to every unhealed part  of her
      that  f e e l s   just like 
      dear-old Mom.

I was young once, my beautiful..
helplessly.. (almost hopelessly)  
subject,  to it all
        --but no more,   my sweet
          ever-painting,  honeybee

That black, babe-- it don't stick..
                        no,   not no more.


Ah, Baby..
   ...   can you hear me..?

Little did he know
How small I wanted to look
Shrinking into the corner and atomizing my existence
Failing to climb the mountain of expectations
Falling with my eyes closed
Shutting my hands over my face
I can’t look him in the eyes because his hands
closed over mine like I had just died
And as I laid in the funeral casket hands flat against my sternum
The lid closed before he saw
I’ll never see him
I don’t want to
How tragic
I’m running a never ending race
Just to break my legs before the finish line
I’m the crumbs beneath his fingers
Only his
I want him to see me but not see me
I still want him
To talk to me
Just not now
Or later
Or ever
I’m too busy licking envelopes with letters
I’ll never send
And that i’ll never want him to read
Or know of
I’m so sorry

  Love, taken in.. on the inside--

Deep into the tummy
makes all things possible.
You are now feeling the dream.
You know very well,  within
your unlied-to  core,

  that you are more than enough.

It is your gorgeous flesh
that still carries  within you
the residual, dark shame
of the (unfairly placed into you),  lie.

You are enough to be the dream
within someone's fullness of dreams..

Mine.  You are beautiful.

Did you lose weight in hopes
you'd lose the guilt of the shame you made me gain?

There's power in skinny
In lithe
In nimble
There's beauty in less
In straight
In narrow
There's strength in slight
In gangly
In graceful
There more to be said
For a fresh look at spatial

There's beauty in buxom
In curves
In convex
There's comfort in contours
In creases
In waves
There's strength in stout
In plump
In physical
There much more to be said
For a fresh look at spatial