I feel like a failed experiment
One that crashed and burned
Melting glass and plastic
I don’t mention it much
When I do, the mood dies
I scratch my neck with a sheepish hand
And the exhaustion creeps in
“I had so much potential,
But you know…it is what it is”
I flush a frustrated red as they look at me in pity
And try not to mention the smell of burnt hair
I cut it off and it still feels
Like it’s weighing me down
They lie and tell me I should feel proud
Because it’s a healthier thought
I smile and thank them
And I don’t tell them that I’m not
Picking myself up anymore
I could keep trying
But I just don’t want to
Keep disappointing myself
So I do nothing
And I’m disappointed by that too
There’s a weight on my chest and when I try
To speak, the words get caught
My sore throat choking them back every time
I poke at my wounds and tell myself not to do something stupid
When I go, all the salt in my blood
Will be dissolved
In the ocean I’ve become