A fairy poked my little nose
And gave me a sense of adventure
And now every time that I'm held back
I wonder what that scent was meant for.

I have been studying how I may compare
This prison where I live unto the world;
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it.  Yet I'll hammer it out.*
             -Shakespeare, Richard II, Act V.I

The world I fathom rhetorically orbits
around the whirr of a dust-peppered
triad of turbine limbs
inbreeding infinitely as electricity's
treaty permits
into a smorgasbord whirl of
processed plastic white

A remedial sun I compose
to counter outside's oven bulb
in the world I do not fathom

Heat's ****** of humidity
is not lost on me
with no canonized sense
even to establish it with

And even my own remedial sun
restricts a reality-knighting touch
with its ozone cage pried open
in unseen haste - a victim
of college's fugitive waltz
encased in the jazz fusion dance hall
of the world I cannot fathom

Is there a dual left-footed
interpretive dance of a carbon dimension
outside of reality's steaming kitchen
to fathom me?

I'm afraid.
I'm a daylight dreamer.
Everything scares me.
Everything is so ******* intense.

I wish i was more like a stone.
I'm always alert

The silence is claustrophobic
I see everything with four eyes
The ones in my face and the ones in my chest
I'm sensitive

But i got to pretend i'm not.
People think i'm the exponent of manly.
Classify me as "cold".
But i cry, alone

I melt the ice
into tears and trade them for my fears.
Just because i'm big
It doesn't mean i'm strong

if there's one thing
about my deranged mind
i'll never understand
it's the fact that you treat me so well
and you tell me everything
any normal girl
would love to hear
but the way you make me feel
will still never compare
to the feeling i got
from just a simple look
from him

You force yourself to stay within the lines you didn't draw
I'd ask you why you're doing this but cannot be so raw
Instead I'll go along with all the choices that you make
And put the pressure somewhere else until it is too late
So when the ticks and talks become a voice you do not hear
Remember then that spoken time has said, the end is near
Asylum is for everyone but not for all the same
I think you understand it too, you see the patterns change
Directly interfering with the process undergone
Will neither make it easier nor any bit less long
I wonder who I'm talking to or what I even say
I've stepped away from every sense of sense I ever made

I find
feathers so beautiful
I guess
it's because they are so light
That sense of lightness
Makes them so pretty
That sense of lightness...
**I envy

Through the thunder nothing is heard
A shadow of a voice imprinted on the mind
The wind howls and masks their screams
Can one's own thoughts be trusted?
Not in search of, but finding oddities
Things that seem senseless
They fill the crevices left in dreams
There is no help for the silent
Mind tricks and sleight of hand
Say the words and life is lightened
One load at a time

I remember how he sounded
while laughing loudly, lips curled, cat-like,
at a joke inside of him that no one knew
how to hear
and he smelled free
and he looked like spring wind
and he felt like a powerful gladness
that surged into all his surroundings

I remember how he sounded
heart beating tired rhythms, breathing in,
breathing out in a calm that no one knew
how to hear
and he smelled safe
and he looked like the night sky
and he felt like the soft thump
echoing through his chest into my almost sleeping ears

I remember how he sounded
eyes burning with salt but invisibly,
like a dark dawn's cries for sunlight that no one knew
how to hear
and he smelled like the paint from his smile
and he looked like a blind man speaking of color
and he felt like someone I still knew well
but I wasn't quite sure who