#selfloathing poems on Hello Poetry

notthepoethewantstobe Mar 2019

No one knows me better than my demons.
I’ve been caring for them, nurturing them
like a parent afraid to see them leave.

My demons have remained faithful to me.
There is no part of me more forgiving.
I’ve fought with them, and tried to destroy them.

But my demons never abandoned me.
They’ve stayed with me, always speaking to me
kindly, with their gentle, sensitive voice.

My demons are my intimate partner.
At my worst and earliest suffering,
they arrived, eager to help me adapt.

My demons epitomize devotion.
They don’t have feelings for anyone else.
They only care about protecting me.

Sometimes, I try to confront my demons.
And then they just listen, like a friend should,
and offer to let me live without them.

But my demons know better than I do.
Feeding on self-loathing, the more they eat,
the more self-loathing I am to become.

My demons have figured survival out.
If I just choose self-loathing over love,
they will stay a part of me forever.

Instagram @insightshurt
www.insightshurt.com
Buy "Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life" at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt

#demons #selfloathing #love #selfrespect #growth #maturity #fightingdemons #self #insightshurt

Alek Mielnikow Mar 2019

Lost The Chips Again

I walked alone that night,
Uphill through the snow.
And when I arrived at the place
Not a single face did I recognize.
I got a beer and sat around,
Looking down so it wouldn't seem
Like I was staring.
The ice in my frozen nerves
Became blacker than the roads
Outside that I drove here on.
And this is why I wish I
Was truly dangerous. No one
Would ignore me, yet nobody
Would venture too close. I'd
Be an animal in a zoo.
But instead I'm a scared,
Lost puppy stuck in a
Land of lions and snakes.
But I poker-faced it so when you
Finally arrived, the little
Loud part of me crying for a
Place and body and mind
I could love instead of
Loathe withered away. Or
So I thought. I ought
To know better by now.
All it took was another
Chance not taken, and
I lost all the chips again.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

#anxiety #fear #beer #bar #club #puppy #dangerous #selfloathing #friend

Her Mar 2019

No one

I am
who you
tell me
I am

Nothing

#selfloathing

nja Mar 2019

Snap, crackle, pop

It’s hard to be your own person,
to move your singular body in its own direction,
when every corner is already crowded by other thoughts.
Your limbs brimming with self-loathing again, brilliant.
Bubbles of spit boasting as they frame your thirsty lips.
You’re picking blood-stained fingernails with yellowing teeth that never knew the curling cradle of a smile.
At a loss for embrace,
Fake hair plastered by stained sweat to your forehead.
There, in the hollows of your forehead, permanent lines appear prematurely, paving the way for the end of your rabbit hole, spiraling.
Head so full of heavy thoughts that your necks snaps.

#individualilty #direction #thoughts #selfloathing #crowded #age #embrace #spiraling #neck #snap

Clay Face Feb 2019

Fictional Fixedness

My leg hurts

The jaws of this inhumane trap engulf my lower shin

I have the tool to disarm it and free myself

But I muttle in my adolescent egocentric pain

Caught within monotonous routine and self interest I rot like my peers

I've sunk to a level of self loathing, that I enjoy pulling myself down

I

Am

Disgusting.

I

Need

Help.

I cry for things I can give myself but alas I withhold it to feel sorry for myself

Me and my fellow youth

Equally as useful, equally as useless

Although I am free of the crowd I am still blinded by my adolescence

Purpose

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Generosity

Love

PURPOSE

all I've know is I am here to be a vessel for knowledge and indoctrination

I am here to have an opinion I voice, but does not matter.

I do not matter.

This function is welded to me

However...

The voice of destiny reasons with me again and I hear:

Seek what's within

Garrot it.

Place yourself into the walls of meaning and the murals upon't

Serve others in selflessness. Share with others in selflessness. Learn from others in selflessness. Teach others in selflessness.

Your a pawn in the samsara. Do your duty within its game.

Gain higher consciousness so you can share the path to it. Become a giver, not a taker.

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Generosity

Love

Six lessons left, define yourself within them. Or perish within your self indulgent pitiful hole.

Got a Tool lyric in there for those who like Tool

Anyway...

This is the firt lesson of my ascension

After more than some self reflection I thought I was ready to post a kind of collection of what I've found so far. Obviously I haven't reached ascension yet. So it's kind of unfit to call this collection ascension. It's more of some lessons I've learned in self reflection and my path to ascension I want to pursue throughout my life. Hope you take something away from this or be influence to write poetry yourself. Maybe do some of your own self reflection I don't know. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Sorry I am a quite person IRL so everything I vent here is pretty long.

#selflessness #ego #selfish #selfloathing #hatred #learning #learn #intellect #ascension #purpose

Cassidy Napolitan Nov 2018

starve my demons

I know not what I am
But I sure as hell am scared
Sometimes I catch a glimpse
and wish I had not dared.

I haven't been myself I mumbled,
it's been a short 4 years.
Yet everyday I am humbled!
to be honest with my fears!

Surviving off whats left of my self loathing
are the devilish voices that I used to feed.
Watering my mind's garden is refreshing
and THAT'S the energy that I need!

This piece has a very surprisingly optimistic point of view by the end of it.
edited.

#selfdiscovery #selfloathing #demons #optimism

Abecedarius Rucker Jan 2019

Good, How Are You?

Anxiety
Blaring.
Coinciding
Depression.
Endlessly
Feeling
Gross.
How
I’ve
Just
Kept
Living’s a
Mystery.
Not
One
Person
Questioned
Reasons,
Sensed
Trouble,
Understood
Vulnerability and
Worrying,
‘Xtrapolated
Yesterday’s lack of
Zeal.

#abecedarius #anxiety #depression #selfloathing

Marie Dec 2018

What I was given

It has become an unbearable thought to drag around this body that no longer feels like my own

I hate that I know its limits and lacks,
It's excess and ungodly elaborations

I hate that I feel stuck

And erasing my outlines won't change the already coloured-in picture,

So I guess I'll have to make use of magic markers to add and deduct some inner colours in order to feel weightless once again.

I was feeling stuck and Wonder came up on television. This poem was going to go in a different direction until then.

#selfloathing #wonder #colours #insecurities

Lee Dec 2018

Reborn Into Uncertainty

Dead inside yet then revived,
A light taught me to feel alive,
The spark inside has been relit,
But what am I to do with it?
Afraid to lose what I have now,
So much to give but don't know how,
It's hard to know just how to be,
But that's just life, that's me, just Lee.

#unreciprocation #sad #love #unrequited #selfloathing #uncertainty #helpless