Many of the rumors about me are true
My insecurities reflect the past
Cards that I discarded weren't all that bad
Metaphorically folded too fast

You can assume whatever you want
Could imagine a million possibilities
In a lot of them you are probably right
I just feel I am viewed as a person diseased

It's only natural to judge in haste
I try to change their impression
I struggle with tired stereotypes
Hope those I love can see my intentions

My eyes betray sad stories
Vaguely told in shades of brown
And all throughout mistakes are woven
Punctuated by tears leaking down

I was a loser for awhile
A burden who offered less than nothing
Let my issues get the best of me
Friends have tried to give guidance
Wasn't ready to accept advice, kept ducking

Immature approach to solving problems
***** a wall to guard my heart
Let my issues get the best of
Embrace sin when life falls apart


Find it amusing when hypocrites whisper
With each passing day grow stronger
It was difficult at recovery's start
To be judged a person I wasn't any longer

You’re an angel,
With a haunted heart.
I’m the devil’s son,
Straight out of hell...

If you’re smart...
You’ll run and protect yourself.

From the demon living in the dark...
There’s nothing to be gained, 'cause I can never change.
And you can never understand my sickness.

(I’ll never understand my sickness...)

Save yourself...
From a life full of lies, and a heart full of pain and sorrow!
Save yourself...
From the choices I make, cause nothing but failure follows!

Save yourself!

When it hurt like hell...
I needed you...
There’s no one else I even talk to anymore, and I curse myself...
I know that the right thing...
...Is to give you up...

I’m overcome by shame, cause I can never change,
And you can never understand my sickness!

(I’ll never understand my sickness...)

Save yourself!

Poor old me.


I hate my body, so stay away;
Don’t waste your time coming onto me today.
Because my body is as ugly as my face
And my middle aged spread is on the way.


I hate being me and I hate you seeing me,
So close your eyes before I leave.
I disagree if you think I’m ****,
Because that is one thing I will never be.


Leave me alone and get out of my face;
This place is no home.  I am a disgrace.
I’ve never been touched by a touch of grace,
Just replaced and never saved for a rainy day.


My six pack is being replaced with a *** belly;
Oh pity me in my misery.
I can’t get back what age steals from me,
So I wallow in my self-pity.  

Oh poor old me.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

I'm hurting lately
Is it just me?
I keep breathing barely
Is there a good excuse?

I'm quite tired these days
Should I get medication for that?
My nightmares are showing me new ways
What's the deal?

Cut. One small thought I had as well
Where did that come from all of a sudden?
In our bathroom is that certain smell
(I can't stand it)
Am I doing this right?

I think I left my confidence at home
Or is it hiding under the bed?
Guess we got separated, this girl is one, lone.
Or is she?

I made new friends in the meantime
Is Anxiety coming over?
We gonna have another slumber party, “I seem fine”
(That's going to be the theme)

Don't forget about Self-loathing,
the party doesn't really start without them, does it?
It's gonna be a sick time with a bunch of loafing,
Sounds pretty good, huh?

Might as well make this my invitation,
to my awesome sleepover
though there's an ongoing renovation
so please don't mind the noise.