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Malia Apr 4
nothing but a scrap
of paper from a make-up catalog
saying,
“Real Flawless™”

but here i am,
unable to stop
thinking
about what it markets to me
what it asks of me
what it stipulates to be
true.

“Real Flawless”

modern day doublethink:
“my body is mine but
Yours
to look at and
Yours
to judge and so i shape it
to the eye that is
Yours—
i am proud though i make myself
small”

“Real Flawless”

mandatory affirmations, prayers more like,
repeat repeat repeat
how much i love myself even
as i consume comparisons
and then calculate the calories.

“Real Flawless”

the only reason
beauty is pain is
because it tears
us in two.
I was at my uncle’s house,
new to the city and just a teenager.

One afternoon, someone’s shoe was stolen from a mosque—
an incident I didn’t know about,
and I hadn’t even visited that mosque at the time.

That night, I went to the mosque to pray.
As I prepared for my prayer,
someone grabbed my collar
and accused me of being the thief.

They judged me by my poor appearance
and the fact that I wore similar-looking shoes,
which I had bought from a store, not stolen.

That day, my self-esteem about my looks was destroyed,
and my social anxiety began.

A mob gathered proudly, ready to punish me.
The noise was so loud
that no one could hear my pleas of innocence.

Fortunately, the call for prayer saved me—
temporarily.

The mob decided to beat me after the prayer.
They took me to the third floor,
made me stand by a large window to pray,
and surrounded me so I couldn’t escape.

For a moment, I thought about jumping out the window,
but I wasn’t brave enough.

Trembling in fear, I prayed to God,
begging for salvation
because I was innocent.

After the prayer,
as they prepared to attack me,
I spotted my cousin in the distance.

I ran to him and explained everything.
He confronted the accuser
and forced an apology out of them.

They said sorry,
and I forgave them,
but their apology couldn’t heal my shattered self-esteem
or erase my newfound social anxiety.

Even now, whenever I see a thief, robber, or hijacker
caught and beaten by a mob,
I feel deeply sad.

Even if they committed a crime,
they deserve proper justice
and the right to be heard.

I understand some people vent their frustrations
by punishing criminals,
but mob violence isn’t justice.

A mob can never establish true justice.

My plea to them is this:
at least, don’t feel proud about beating someone,
even if they’re a criminal.
Zee Mar 5
Broken, Flawed, Imperfect.
People live among us.

Perfect,flawless, immaculate.
People live half alive.

As they try anything and everything.
To sell you a dream.
To gleam and shine.

To light up the screens.
Of teens who see.
No harm in the dream.

That being anything less.
Than them is wrong.

You have to shine.
Like they do.
Sell fake news.

Start a trend.
Make an impression.

Just don't be flawed.
In the way you speak.

Don't look broken.
Hide those eye bags underneath.

Your hair can't be imperfect.
Not a strand out of place.

Smile,gleam and shine.
The way you were always.
Influenced to.

Not a foot out of place.
Otherwise we won't allow you.
In this space.

Now fake a smile.
Won't you?
Beneath the arch,
        among the branches,
      the maunder of her eyes
           finds noir in an afterimage,
every reflection is unique,
    explicit and indivisible,
        every reflection is her,
      there she looks close
       for gracefulness,
            in the essays of her skin
               and their brazen transparencies,
         she enters into her body fable,
      the shape of her resembles
           the tenor viol: where it widens,
                  where it narrows,
                where it digresses
              and monochromes,
           she reflects a fragile geography,
             a soft cargo, but
               an inkling of hurricane,
             rendering the fault lines
          beautiful and strong,
       in supplication tomorrow's explorer
will disturb the patterns
   until she's become her own lullaby
Ivan Feb 21
my self-esteem
invalidates
myself esteemed
Zee Feb 13
If you told me what to do.
I'd do it all  and more.

It's the way I've always known.
It's the way I've always been.

From the school bells.
That used to ring.
To the parents that preached.

It seems I'm good at.
Listening with open ears.

Tell me what to wear.
Where to go,
Who to be.
What to say.

Tell me to do your bidding.
I'll bury your bodies.
Hold your secrets close.

Nobody will ever know your damage.
They'll only ever really see my own.

If you told me what to do.
I'd do it just for you.

To be praised.
To be thanked.
To be yours.
To be loved.

It's the way I've always been.
It's the only way I know.

What to do.
Who to be.
How to love.
Kai Feb 12
Oh? Do you have a small amount of self-esteem?
You said yes? Let me bring it down lower for you
Come on everyone! Let’s do it as a team!
Don’t be mad; everyone has to have their fun too
Oh? Are those pimples on your face?
Hand me a marker and call me someone with grace
Can’t wait to play “Connect The Dots” on your face
Come on, don’t run away
Stay still for me
You’ve already locked yourself away
In the corner of your doom
Or may as well call it your room
Everyone has already got you surrounded, so what’s the point of running away?

Are you a male or female?
I can’t tell through the details
Your chest is too flat to the point where I suspect you’re a man
I’m not sorry; just saying this because I can
Your voice is disgusting
It’s making my ears turn into a state of bursting
Just stop talking and start walking
To the ** that has been lured to you
Yep! I’m talking to you
Hate to be rude
But it seems you can never listen

I’m not tired
Are you tired?
Of course you’re tired
You always look tired
Or… Sick
You’re always as skinny as a stick
Have you heard of gaining weight?
Or have you been making your appetite wait?
Are you that insecure about yourself?
You are that stupid that you don’t know that metabolism pills are on the shelf?
Why are you so nervous?
Did I get you?
Awwwww…. The girl is insecure!

Why the hell are you so flirty?
No wonder why you have no friends within the city
I wonder how your parents still love you
Look at you
You can’t even defend yourself
What a weak, disgusting, pathetic excuse of a individual you are

**** yourself
You're welcome for supporting your selfish decision
The ropes are on the shelf
Now go into Dazai position
Die
Die
Die
Die
And let all the others go by
"the weak will die. Die and make way for the others." - Akutagawa Ryuunosuke in Bungo Stray Dogs
I remember the author during
A boom reading mentioning
Not to edit yourself for other people
That is why I am one hundred percent
Me
With my tattoos and piercings
With my unique heritage
And my even more unique brain I see that I am
Unedited
By nature….
Don’t edit yourself for other self
For other people!
Just be you!
If they don’t like it
That’s on them
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