I learned that true healing begins with the recognition of the patterns passed down through generations, woven into the fabric of my emotional life. My childhood experiences, whether painful or nurturing, have shaped my responses to the world, and only by acknowledging the wounds left behind can I begin to free myself from their grip. I must confront the destructive behaviours that have taken root; those subtle habits of self-sabotaging and deeply ingrained fears that seem to guide my actions almost unconsciously.

To move forward, I take responsibility for my emotional growth. This journey requires me to nurture the parts of myself that have been neglected, to offer the care and compassion that were once missing. I have learned to cultivate an inner sense of safety, to build trust within myself, and to challenge the narratives that no longer serve me. Through deliberate self-exploration, I identify the beliefs and emotions that have kept me stuck, and I work to transform them into my greatest strengths.

It’s a process of reparenting; providing myself with the love, guidance, and protection I once sought from others. I gently untangle myself from the trauma that has echoed across generations, and in doing so, I begin to break free from the cycles of the past. Each step forward brings me closer to a more resilient, authentic version of myself, one that is capable of self-empowerment and emotional growth. This isn’t a journey of quick fixes but one of deep transformation, where I learn to honour my past while fully embracing the potential of who I am becoming.

——

I listen closely to his cry,
A truth long hidden, now untied.
With love, I heal the aching past,
And offer peace that’s meant to last.

I break the hold of old belief,
Release the pain, embrace relief.
In every tear, in every plea,
I find the strength to set him free.

I draw my boundaries firm and clear,
Protect the space that I hold dear.
With quiet strength, no longer torn,
The child within me has been reborn.

— Sincerely, Boris

She who spoke with no love,
waited on external acceptance
That, it never came

She who found comfort in a shell
Delicate and golden, but unrecognizable
to a polluted mind

She who bowed to insecurity
Scoured and torched by internal pain
She no longer seeks to remain

And she no longer will.

Thought
be hard and course to the swallow

when its taste
be set on another's tongue

a scent
will sweeten its sour
to the very seed I plant it on

Blame

pushes
the door
out

when
it
opens in

We all need someone to look at us
To see our light
And share our smile
An honest look at who we are

We all need someone to look at us
So why can’t that someone be me?

Great Grandma said it.
Grandma said it.
Dad Said it.
Mom said it.
Teachers said it.
Bosses said it.
Husband said it.
Children said it.
I said, Hell, no!

Until There Was Only Light
I looked at the darkness within
Two eyes of Light
Gave me a blink.
I smiled.
Watching expanding light
Dancing and whirling
Embracing the darkness
Until there was only Light.
Embracing the darkness
Dancing and whirling
Watching expanding light
I smiled.
Give me a blink
Two eyes of light
I looked at the darkness within
Until there was only Light.

I hate being held down,
Or someone thinking they have control over me.
It makes my knuckles twinge,
And my face burn.

Why would someone else control me,
Want to tell me what to do,
I don't even control me.
So who, in fact, are you?

You aren't my mother,
You aren't my father,
You're merely a friend.
But don't get me wrong, I don't want our friendship to end.

But it feels like you're smothering me,
Trying to chain me down,
Rip off my wings,
Or ****** down my crown.

But I won't let that happen,
So I'll cut the chains you've tried to use,
And I'll keep my wings above your reach,
And I will hold my head high,
And I will guard my crown.

With heavy eyes
And stiff bones
I say goodbye
To what was once
A home
I am afraid
I have to go
A brand new road
To be travelled alone
I won't forgot
All those good times
We had on late nights
And cheap moonshine
In my heart
I'll forever hold
As I say goodbye
To who was once a home

As free as a bird...in a cage
She trapped herself,
Into that flamboyant frame,
Trying to veil
Those dewy eyes.

She trapped herself,
Within that tailored smile
she was accustomed to
Her milieu was accustomed to,
Trying to conceal that usual heartache.

She trapped herself,
Inside that veil of sophistication,
Smothering that naiveness,
That unconsciously shoved her lips to expand into that charming curve,
Even at trivial affairs.

She trapped herself,
Defeated by that burden of expectations,
And unwillingly
Blocked that flame that always ignited her.

She trapped herself,
Deserted her reason for living...
Not just existing,
And existed, lost.

But,

Even that mere existence refused to welcome that defeat.

Her individuality dissuaded her from that suffocation,
And promptly removed that veil.

She was a fighter,
A militia fighting her demons
Gallantly.
Annihilating those fears,
Those self doubts
That hindered her conquests
To establish her purely sovereign empire.

She accepted gracefully
Her naiveness.
She embraced elegantly
Her gawkiness.

The lill flame ignited,
Metamorphosed into inferno.
She wore that invisible Crown,
All by herself.
She vehemently chased those dreams,
Those dreams, which once got her trembling,
Were now waiting,
To be seized by the Queen.

She emancipated that bird, from her lill cage,
And allowed her to measure the sky,
Unleasheing her rage.