And it is this reason that I feel that I can never go home.
Because I know not where it exists.
Familiar faces that exist with a bit of a twist.
Those same smiles & well wishes are never what they seem.
If heaven lasts only for a second.
Be as it may, then ignorance is truly bliss.
For reason that needs no further explanation.
I've built this place in my mind that feels alot like home.
But misses the main components that make it home.
If heaven lasts but a second.
I'd rather not be forced to drink the bitter milk of it's truth.
There are many sides to a face at any given angle.
Which one is you, which is me.
In enough time things change.
In even more time, it gets hard to spot the subtle difference.
Was I ever there to begin

She was like none I’ve ever met
Meeting her I would never regret

Her quirks, fishing rods
Reeling me in with ease

When I’m at crowded places
Her silhouette is what I seek

I can’t help but wear a smile
Whenever she’s within a mile

I lack the courage to tell her this
And her image I always miss.

The difference with you, sadness
You are the extreme loneliness or madness
You are temporary, and you can be thrown away
Once the circumstances change, you fade away

The difference with you, anger
You are the height of any issues and murders
You make them impulsive
You absolutely love it when they get abusive

The difference with you, attention seeking
You often deceive, telling everyone that everything's depressing
You urge them to mislead them, you want them to think depression is foolish
You find your peace when they get all the attention you have wished

The difference with all of you, I'm what they called "depression."
A mental disorder which seeks medical assistance
None of these changes can me go away in an instance
I make them turn their backs to their healthy lifestyle
And push them to an irregular and abusive lifestyle

Not everyone who I possess, slit their wrist
Some of them can actually resist
I never gave them the chance to articulate my causes
That is why people call them nuisances

The others think it's just feeling and temporary
No, I'm not, I'm real and far more than ordinary
I do deceive people by making them do happy things
That is why others tell them what to feel and do, saying it's nothing

Not all people whom I hold onto right now
Recognize my existence because I keep it low
I'm not sadness, anger nor attention seeking
I'm something you have to pay attention to because I'm not joking.

Bottled sounds seep; escape.
Our noise mimics semi trucks.
All in fluid motion

In all honesty.
I think what I truly desired was to be put on a plate.
And be devoured piece by piece.
My attention, all my free time.
Everything that no one else could see.
With knife and fork.
T be taken apart and devoured tastefully.
With nothing left except the juice of where I laid.
The tough parts that take time to cut,
Revealed in an instant.
To be desired in mutual attraction, a certain craving.
Covered in salt, pepper, a slice of butter.
All of my interests, my habits.
The anticipation of being sizzled and flipped on a cast iron skillet.
Served fresh on a plate.
A baked potato on the side to bring out the taste.
In all honesty.
I think I'll have a steak

flying high
swooping fast
climbing
pulling gravity

seeking
lost among the clouds
(frantic)
you among the clouds
where exactly

approximately close
relatively distant
far beyond earshot
and visual

no wings
just me
no dreams
just you
all the way
everywhere

are you moving
looking
knowing if you stopped
you'd fall
and that
would be the end of us

I am keeping my momentum
incessantly in motion
feeling if I stopped
I'd drop
like a stone,
the impact, our extinction