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To know these thoughts
Pulling my mood to bleak
Each time my mind entertains
The notion and secret admiration
Unobtainable visions you are.

You might guess but I guard them
My pride and my aging acceptance
The denial and the hindsightedness
Bitterness so impotent and useless

Beautiful, You, and I  can't bring attention
I'm. Too old, too far past the moment
No. I must appreciate from afar
Stolen glances from forgettable interactions.

It's not a blameable situation
I am longful, going for eyes
that see inside and passed
The lines of time too clearly present
Hopef but for One whom tries for
Proximity and time by my side
and that is never yours to supply.

It ***** I am so far ahead of
My youthful desires
and the unsaid.
I told you I would write about us.
About that night
And I know you know which one
It was the “firsts” of many
First time seeing each other
In half a year
Second time in almost three
You looked different,  older
And I suppose you were
Did I to you
Surely I must have
If only the difference
Was my delirious outspoken state

I was with you but all I could think of was about
Me
What did you think of me?
Why did you come to see me?
Did you like the touch
Of my skin
In the same way I liked yours?
“ what are you thinking?”
I asked
But meant about me

Have I always been this self consumed?
Can I answer the same questions about you?
Your hands in mine
I can answer some

I like your distinctive yet
sedate aura
You were rare
  A secret
To the industrial world
Your hand in mine
Your touch was reticent
And yet  irresolute
If embracing were a race, you
Would have let me win
If I was a stride
You were a step
And two steps behind
It would’ve been
I wanted you
To run at my pace
But I was scared
So we stayed in place

I was in control
But I couldn’t take it there
I couldn’t give you my soul
Contrite I would say sorrowful words
For reasons I didn’t quite understand
Maybe it has to do with all the questions
I couldn’t answer that I asked you
As you held my hands

Questions that I would have you answer me
Or maybe I know I couldn’t concede
To everything you may want in me
Because deep down I think I know
This wasn’t meant to be

Then it hits
That thing
It goes by the name
Reality
Those steps taken forward
Can’t be retraced
And I’m glad
You weren’t running at my pace

This will have to end
I don’t know how or
Even if
It will ever begin again
So I say the words
“I’m sorry”
And you tell me I have no reason to be
But you don’t know what it is
Those words actually mean.
To Damion.
Poolza Feb 8
Why can't we love
without getting
hurt?
Maybe I did told you
That I'll leave

I'll leave you
And all the memories of us

Yet
Maybe

You'll never realise that
It's still me

That's been loving you
From far, silently and this time

I'll make sure
You'll never know that

It's me.
')

I love you, AA.
Tbh, I've been thinking to myself. What to get for you, on your birthday. I really did but.. you left, again. 04.02.2019
On the day we met,
you hooked me with your laugh
and hilarious demeanor.

On the day we met,
all it took was my name being
said from your lips for you to catch me.

On the day we met,
you laughed at my blondness
and still give me **** for it.

On the day we met,
nothing else mattered
as we travelled across the universe.

On the day we met,
you didn't have to say anything
for me to know exactly what you were thinking.

On the day we met,
the message I received was innocent
until you heard me speak.

On the day we met,
you said you were surprised
by my voice and quiet nature.

✿✿✿✿✿✿

On the day we met,
I had you hooked
with my easy-going disposition.

On the day we met,
nothing could stop us
being flirty with each other.

On the day we met,
I entrapped you
with my words.

On the day we met,
we became friends
and warmth was born.

On the day we met,
I made you jealous
by playing with your friends.

On the day we met,
those feelings
became so much more.

On the day we met,
I was told of your affection
and spoke my own.
Ana Laag Feb 2
Do not aim for it
Just do what you love to do
It'll certainly come
Amaranthine Feb 1
I promised myself,
To take that secret to the grave.
I even dug my own grave.
Buried myself within it,
Keeping that secret locked,
In my beating heart.
I didn't know,
Some ghoul would take it out,
From my corpse,
By feeding on my dead heart.
Josh Feb 1
What is locked away
Can't be found,
Even though, it's right there for you to see
Transparent tranquility in my breath,
Makes you think we are the same,
Mistake,
Even though we share this world, this space, this air
I breath different than you,
I do on purpose
These lines,
Intricate, like the ones on my palms
This is how we are different

Raw realness,
So potent it's almost putrid
Symmetrical syntax,
So exact, it seems divine
A shuffling stream of words fluid to a song,
Yet, alien to you
This is how we are different
Yes,
What is bound to my soul,
Is invisible,
To you
#
You called me shy for not looking in your eye
I could look but I just can't stand to another lie
Thank u for reading.

To see my other poetries you can check my blog, here's the link.

https://survivalinstinctspoetry.blogspot.com/

My instagram: @eminkusaslan

Take care **  -E
#
Fake that confidence one day it will be real.
Thank u for reading.

To see my other poetries you can check my blog, here's the link.

https://survivalinstinctspoetry.blogspot.com/

My instagram: @eminkusaslan

Take care **  -E
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