******* salty ocean tears
O, how I miss you dear
Fresh delicate minds as if we descended yesterday from our wombs
Everyday is new to us and I am glad I got to see you bloom

Too bad, so sad- you decided to leave me
No warning, no note- years you left quite seemingly effortlessly
I felt shocked, betrayed, and abandoned
I hope she is worth what you bargained

Your love is like a caged bird
Beautiful when standing outside looking in
But imprisoning when you are the bird

Quilt made of hearts
Eyes laced with static memories
You are a part of my broken record lifestyle
I can still taste you when I talk
Your energy is in a jar, sitting on my shelf getting dusty
I want to open you up, but I have nowhere left to put you

Dining on copious amounts of serotonin
Dopamine fiend
I get called a terrible teen
Lack of melotonin

Sleepless dreams
Of seizing opportunities
But I don't participate in life; truancy
I guess I'm nothing more than another one of ******'s machines

Imprints, emotional cuts that feel skin deep
I like the way your tears glisten on your pale skin
Priceless diamond drops
Chameleon eyes, changing along with the seasons
And with the shirts you indecisively choose to wear
For the people you pretend to like

You hold values close to your chest, worn like a necklace
Lip syncing yesterday's words I whispered to you
When we were in bed, alone and intimate
Forgetting about today because your head is on my pillow
Still kissing my lips and tasting my emotions I transfer onto you
Yearning to be loved, while loving relentlessly

I don't know how to be close
I paint myself in colors, expecting love to come
To only find an idea destroyed, broken into crumbs

When love meets me, more gleeful than ever
Dull and nuetral I become, distant and unfamiliar
Curl up, roll inside myself, harden shell, dismembered mind

I guess I never really wanted love

Pick-pocketing angels leave me with no change
Tampered pill bottle head, rattling brain rearranged
Hold me close like a nostalgic note
Please don't toss me away like the others do

I am happy,
oh no, now I am sad
One day I am strong
Two later, I've gone mad
I try to take steps
But I'm always tripping on threads
The threads are your words
That won't leave my head

I miss you, but I don't
Because I think I know what's best
The best thing to do is
To never second guess

Onward and foward
My eyes obey, my heart tries to follow
My mind is concerned about my heart
Like an over-protective father
For all will be okay, I promise myself
Time has painted me a new portrait of I
That I can see I am not far from
And when I get there, that means I have moved on

Its so much easier to push someone away, than to let yourself become vulnerable.
                                                     ­         
To give them the power to hurt you.

Showing your true feelings is relinquishing all your power.

You're trusting them not to take advantage of your weaknesses.

And that, is an absolutely ridiculous notion.

Once weakness is spoted, it is used and abused, untill you are just a quivering mess lying on the floor, wondering how you ever let yourself get into such a situation.

I will not be:
Vulnerable  
Powerless
Weak

I am strong, because people don't know the real me, and that's how its going to stay.