She starts gathering up her things.
She's getting ready for her trip.

No one aware.
No one who cares.

Her pillow is harder,
Her pill bottles full,
Her bag is waiting,

And now she's ready to leave.

Not yet.
Not ready.
Not alone.

Fighting with herself, or rather her friends.
The one's who are her voice.
THE voice's.

Trying to plan on still.
For they have yet to begin getting ready.

Not smart.
Not scared.
Not brave.

They've made up their minds.
They've packed their bag's.
They're ready to go.

Her knife, her friends, her sanity.
Is ready.

Not suicidally
Or accidentally
But in the sense
Of noteriety

I dont want
Anyone knowing me
Or the awful human
I used to be

I want to start fresh
Do good for the world
Start charitable organizations
And be the angels herald

Even my own father
Calls me devlish now
So maybe its time
To five a final bow

Ill exit the stage
And sink from sinful fame
Ill do what i want
With no title or name

And how freeing itll be
To not look after you
To not reassure
Every ****** thing you do

And i wont tell a lie
Not even for my own good
And if you think me cold hearted
You clearly misunderstood

I wont pity petty people
I wont try and hold your hand
When all you want to do
Is fight the quick sand

Youre sinking faster
Than i can keep up
So im done going down
With a ship thats far sunk

So yes i want to die
Im exhausted from this
Life is miserable
When your boots are all i kiss

So im starting over fresh
Born again as a fresh new babe
And i hope this world is kinder
Than when i was first made

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not your dream child.
I'm sorry I'm not beautiful.
I'm sorry I'm not smart.

I'm sorry I'm not talented,
That I didn't deserve your attention.
So sorry for not being popular,
Or thin and perfect.

I'm sorry I'm fat,
And I know I deserve this silent treatment.
I deserve the bullying,
The comments, the  glares.

I'm sorry my ruddy legs,
Only got me this far in life.
I'm sorry these red eyes,
Can't see anything but pity.

You haven't spoken to me in ages,
So I know you won't miss me.
You have ever asked me how I feel,
So I know you won't care.

I'm pretty sure you'd be happy
To see this letter.
You don't have to pretend,
You love me anymore.

I know.

You'll have the perfect family:
A rich Dad,
A happy Mom,
A beautiful Daughter and
A smart Son.

I know I don't fit here,
So there's no denying.

I'm sorry I have to do this,
But life doesn't want me here,
Or anywhere for that matter.

So I've decided to run away.
Alone.
No one needs me,
Believe me, I know.

I want you to know I love you,
Even if you don't.

Last of all,
I'm sorry I was never good enough.
Yes, I wish me to hell as well.

From,

**The daughter you never loved.

And you couldn't even say goodbye?

"One fast move or I'm gone," I'd thought,
And lo here I am ready to cast everything to the wind like so many sails and
Off again go running, running away from me

If I had known all of those moments
seen them coming so slowly
feathers raining from the sky
drop down onto me
embryos, suddenly cut from the umbilical cords,
they fall,
shatter brittle bones on the ground,
and you run back to the safety
of your maiden name.