My convictions rest upon the assurance of things not seen. Like the infant who is not whole and yet to be wean. I am moved along by a light that I can barely see. There is a hope deep down inside. All the while it is the only hope that help's me breathe.

When all I have known is pain. When I did not live, I walked by shame. When I moved to change, I was chastised that I did not move the same. I assure you son there is a comfort through these things.

There is a light beyond the horizon that is buried by the dark. Which eyes have not seen but can be felt with your heart. Where weary legs kneel and All sin departs. Where you are justified and a new life starts.

My humanity questioned every step of the way but I had trust in One that all one day will soon change.

Your legs cannot carry you my beloved little boy, the road is not paved. It is an uncharted, terrifying terrain. It's every obstacle is met with strain. It's every heartache you will face along the way. It is not by yourself that you can make the way.

We are weak and flawed inside. If we had the strength; we would boast with pride. You must deny your depravity and cling to the Son to make stride. Accept and acknoledge just who you are. Confess it to Him that sit's on High.

Jesus Christ is the only way. He will supply you with His Grace. His Grace is sufficient. He will walk with you and supply you every step of the way. His love is greater than mine and He walks outside of time. But when He comes to rescue you it is always on time.

It is hard to see this or understand this when you are blind. But when He saves you son, He will also open your eyes. You will see that there is no chance of making it your own way. No chance at pleasing God unless you have Faith. My dear son, Jesus Christ is the only way. When you fall remember this name. When you arise rememeber His name.

He will be the one to bring you home to me. He will be the reason your heart sings. He will be in your weakness your strength. I love you so much. These are my last words. I pray you keep them and reverence them to be true just as I did and so I lived.

To my beloved first born.
-Mateo Cole Ortega

Your father.-Ryan Seth Cole

I must have been a Star graced on the pale
and amber Sky against sharp edged Giants,
the way you searched for wings behind me.

A black strip of lace I was, but less frail,
I broke through the loudness and gifted you silence.
Though no Halo was rest on my crown,
You laid yours beside me.

Hark I did try, though the clouds are all that spoke.
I cradled you then, skin soft as bread.
Leaning over like grass in the wind
And planting Daisies on your breast.

Tempest came fast and the sunlight awoke,
opening the wound from its rising, and bled.
It gave an orange and firey tinge,
but the Blood was warm as it spilled over the crest.

Passionately, I held you stark.
The Thorns wrapped around your head and heels
but the River flowed down the Cliffs so steep,
to drown the Thorns in reverence.

And soon your eyes arose from the Dark.
I pulled your chin with my finger to watch you reveal,
and I noticed the Thorns had buried deep
and I worried what served as their consequence.

I could have questioned the Shepherd that rest on the peak,
"what bothers your black woolen Lambs?"
Knowledge so flooded and thought all fragmented,
I kept the silence floating where words could have been.

So we settled in the grove of a like-minded freak,
Glued horns on the Ovis so they looked like Rams,
Made sure the air was a sweet Rose and Wood scented,
And awaited the Sun to burn the mountains again.