You never see the things I do
Never paid attention
Never appreciated

How dare you wonder why I left
and downright replaced you

sometimes i wonder
what life would be without you
& honestly-
the thought doesn't sadden me
solely because
the thought does not exist at all

i cannot in my wildest dreams
imagine another voice
calling me 'baby'
singing to me over the phone
or telling me to stop dragging my feet when i walk
i cannot hear
any other laugh but yours
when i say stupid things
i cannot picture
another face to wake up to in the morning
or another smile to brighten my day
any other eyes to sparkle in the dark nights
i can never even think
of feeling at home in anyone else's arms
being able to cry on anyone else's shoulders
not in my craziest thoughts
can i ever think
of kissing anyone else's lips
(they'll never taste as good as yours)
no one else's body
will ever fit the way yours does
with mine
& i cannot fathom the idea
of anyone else trying

because once you've tasted perfection
*how do you settle for anything less?

Look at that little light bulb
Switched off in disgrace
White but dull, all light gulped,
Deep inside its face
Is it worth being replaced?

Try switching it on,
Try bringing out its inner light,
Try encouraging it to illuminate,
Try giving it a second chance,
But, no, it is now out of date.

You take it out,
Throw it in the trash
It was always meant to break,
It shatters into unfixable peices in one crash
Like this lightbulb
Am I the next one you're going to replace?

after the last autumnal rainfall has washed away
the remnants of the hurtful summer past
and with it, any residual feelings of want or desire for you
this gloriously mixed with the diversion of my eyes
and recalibration of my heart's attention
i'm still left with this feeling of resentment
and betrayal at your hands
which once knotted so seamlessly in mine

it is from this deeply ingrained feeling
that i know with crestfallen certainty
that i will never call you a friend
no, but you will merely be faintly etched in my memory
as a blemish, a person that i trusted
only to have that trust forged into a dagger
and relief that i did not give you any more of myself
with which you could sharpen it

it is from this realisation that i am forced 
to redefine the trough of this wave called love
highlighting the lowest depths of emotional exploitation
where you expose yourself, bearing your chest open
to another, so that they can have your heart in its entirety
but you encounter the true nature of another's character

a character that you may have only seen glimpses of, if anything
but one that will form their final portrait
in that dark unvisited corner of your mind
for as long as your memory will care to retain it
for the only beauty in betrayal is the subsequent clarity that it entails

thought I mattered,
I thought you cared.
Didn’t think you’d replace me,
I was never scared.
I should have been ready,
But I was unprepared.
I told you everything,
My thoughts I shared.
Didn’t think you’d leave me.
I never dared.
To try and breath out of lungs
That lacked air.