I will always find thrill
In remembering when your
Lips are on mine and
Our bodies intertwined

I will always find warmth
In remembering your
Touch that gives me
So much comfort and
Your arms which are my home

I will always find shivers
In remembering you
Holding my hand and how
Your thumb draws endless
Circles on my skin

And I will always find longing
In remembering those moments
With you

That day I sat
naked and
                   alone
water collapsing upon my spine
acidic or compelling?
cradling what I thought was my hands
within themselves
and waiting for daylight to break me.
I was already broken

decrepit in fact.
caressing substance as supplement
the figurines of moving reality
plaguing consciousness
As     drips
                         drops
        fell
                     struck
My initiative was no longer to cleanse
or ease
but to forget,
God oblidge me
          please
ghosts of armies amidst armistices
raging with questioning calamity
every minute
every        second

It was easy
to hear and see it
placid           to act
as if gum on a shoe
was used and trashed
but stuck somewhere new
               disgusting

Meanwhile
this water
troublesome with cleanliness
corrodes my cadaver
(Cadaver, because it seems that way)
Blood runs with it
and overtakes the pigment
like color from the sponges
I’d used for the color the needle left
instead of creating

life in color
death in color
feeling in color
There were none

unnamed and buried
internal pieces of me
              Extracted
with simplicity
by mouth
and flushed
to not exist
               ever
to anyone
but deep in the realm, of conscience
hidden
and    drowning

back in the day
- which wasn't a tuesday, by the way -
but my glory days when i was supposedly on the right track
                                                           ­                 bursting with talent
                                                          ­                  full of potential
                               i was crazy
to think i could have gone somewhere on words alone
despite the incredible power they hold

It's 4:01 in the morning, and i'm counting the minutes.
Reminiscing the day you kissed me like I'm yours.
And I'm here,
Laying on my bed.
Wondering if i'm in your dreams.
Hoping you'll save me to this
Nostalgic feeling.
Hoping you'll love me someday,
And repeat that kiss one day.

It’s funny how I want to tell you everything,
and even funnier how many times i’ve tried to
only to realize you aren’t there to tell.

I want to tell you how hard it rained two days ago.
It rained so hard I think it washed away
a little more than my mascara.
I want to tell you that I was so high when you left
I don’t know if I said goodbye.

I want to tell you goodnight at 4am
and good morning an hour later.
I want to tell you that every time I wear that skirt
I was wearing when we met
I think of how much I liked the feeling of your hand on my thigh.

I know you aren’t here
but I want to tell you anyway
Telling you wouldn’t make you love me
but I want to tell you anyway
You are doing more important things than wondering
if our bodies would fit together
but I want to write this anyway.

It's 12:25 in the early morning,
The stars are majestically prancing around in the heavenly sky.
Never was there a gigantic, obese sign forewarning,
Attempting to grab my attention seeking eyes.
Screaming and shouting, "He's just a beautiful boy with a devil heart."
Would a young, innocent soul have the conscientious mind to spot such a simple flaw?
Maybe, if I wouldn't have been so knee deep in trying to restart,
I may not have ever let your rough, graceful hands unclip my bra.
It's now 12:39 and I'm slowly remembering how to forget you,
All I can slightly acknowledge is scratching your bare back and moaning your aesthetically crafted name.
Don't ask me to bid you adieu,
Because I only have my wondering heart to blame.

Dark, grey clouds loomed over the world, forcefully covering the sun and blue sky.
In a matter of seconds, the once warm afternoon turned into a cold and gloomy day.
The growling thunder in the distance gave out a faint warning.
Soon after, droplets of rain came pouring down, cooling the dryness of the world.
The passing cold wind made the overlooked warmth missed.
But the smell of wet earth was refreshing and nostalgic, and the sound of raindrops and water splashing were melodious.
The chilliness and cold air were friendly and welcoming somehow.

Grey, to me, was beautiful today.

If he had loved me,
      Maybe I could feel him now,
                    Or maybe not.

It was another time
Where she was younger
She was smaller
She was crooked
And quaint
She was blond
She was cute
She was tanned
And smiley
She didn't know what her future looked like
Well it's funny how time passing changes everything
Cause I'm standing in the mirror staring at that far off future she didn't know and I'm wondering if she'd like it

I regret every second I am asleep because nothing hurts more then waking up to find out it was all a lie.
You are not mine.
You don't love me.
It's not three in the morning, you're not asleep beside me with one hand on my chest sending chills of fire straight through every bone, every vein, every single cell of this wretched body.
I am not sober, hearing your voice tell me that you could gaze into my eyes forever, thinking about how badly I want your soal to coexist with mine for the rest of time.
Your breath may not be mine but my thoughts are all yours.
Your touch may not be mine but my memories are all yours.
My infatuation is all yours.
My love is all yours.
My insomnia is all yours.