Sometimes, I
Regret
Not regretting.

Come on, darling, let's get old together,
let's braid ourselves a wreath from shy flowers,
for just next to each other we could be winners,
to the destiny, we are now indebted to.
For thousands of hours.

Let's never be lame with our feelings,
let's gather them into a fine globe of crystal,
let's live now to the fullest our grand moments,
let's raise our love on the proud pedestal.

Let's resist the bad and ugly weather of life,
by painting the walls in a magical arch of the rainbow,
for your cheeks to be coloured by love, as my wife,
to our eyes, the passion has to give it a glow.

Come on, honey, let's hold each other tight,
let's cancel the bad and censored emotions,
let's not pant in the slime of regrets, but fight
the destiny and just breathe slowly our youth.
And live our kind of truth.

Let's not pretend that everything is by the chance,
for I know that we have not been randomly chosen,
let's set up bridges of clear thoughts by our dance,
it's the only way we can cross the past's ruins.
Let's leave it frozen.

You had promised you would help me
You said it was okay that I was okay
What happened then?
Why did you abandon me?
Why did you give me empty promises?
You took everyone that were close to me
You told all sort of lies about me
How I wish I had never met you
How I wish I had never trusted you
But thank you for making me realise
That the battles I fight make me stronger than coward people like you.

This page has been all I had when the nights seemed eternal and the storms seemed many.

It bled my truths .
It brought me those I loved,  and helped push them away as well.

I have rode the winds and crashed into the rocks .
Embraced self destruction captured every lie and bared far to many truths .

I guess this is all that's left .
So I will end it , where it began .

Now this page holds my last truth.

Late at night, drinking my thoughts away
Lights are off, the curtains sway
Smoking a pipe, remembering your face
Floor’s messed up, I wished you had stayed

When I told you to leave, I didn’t mean it
Just couldn’t show you what I hid
Told you I didn’t need you, didn’t expect you to believe it
There’s still some left of me beneath this

The walk home is never the same without you
We gave up and ended too soon
No chances left for me and you
Maybe you still feel the same way too

But I kept the book you gave me
The notes we passed each other are still with me
The memories we made together, I still keep
These little and fragile things help me sleep

I try to hold on to what could have been us
When I cried in front of you and you gave me a hug
What could have been, if only one of us had the guts
Hard to admit that it all turned to dust

Now I know you’re better off with her
She probably makes you happier
She’s probably totally so much better
I was a lot and honestly, full of blisters

I am damaged and definitely not perfect
I understand why I was somehow less
Not good enough even at my best
My mind and my heart has always been a mess

Some things are better left not talked about
Some things are better kept inside than out
I miss you but it doesn’t matter now
I love you and that still matters to me somehow

Tell me I’m not stupid for allowing myself to feel,
searching out for the next wound before letting the former heal,
I’ve been convincing myself that the invisible path is real,
but it’s not wide enough for two; one can stand and one can kneel.

If there’s anything in this world that tightens my chest,
it’s the moment I am strangled by vulnerability.
I keep it chained away to the very best,
to the very best of all my abilities.
Take all those thrown away phrases
and piece them back together to hit my ears
it’s funny how the long silence still amazes,
amazes me after all these quiet years.

Are you Sonic the hedgehog,
‘cause this is a chaos emerald.
Wipe away the tears to see the fog,
my world shakes when once it trembled.
I’ve got an easy road ahead of me
where the path could be so easy,
but I’m drawn to walk into the sea,
I wish that instinctive pull would leave me.

We humans are such destructive creatures
we turn soil to scorched earth with just one touch.
It’s the curse of emotions and all it features,
makes us decline a cast and accept a crutch.
We fall prey to our monsters like a disease,
do I pick life support or a clean cut cure?
A solid steel spine or weak and shaking knees?
Toxic lungs or a gasp of air too pure?

Should I swallow this gulp of mundane routine
conform and erase all individuality?
The white picket fence in photographs is so pristine
but it’s covered in dust and mold the naked eye can’t see.

My storybook ending is incomplete
as I didn’t much care for the ending.
I traded in tragedy instead of something sweet,
‘cause I’ve never been so good at pretending.
All along there are holes both in the souls and plot,
and I wish to roll but can’t afford the toll as empty hands are all I got

The world is so small babe,
I’m running through my life
All this cardio killing my vibe
I was high but now I’m low,
You’ve gone too far away from me,
All this distance, these miles I can’t take it no more,
Let’s go on a trip, I’ll buy you a flight to Tokyo, we’ll hit the dojo, I’ll show you my mojo,
We’ll walk around Yoyogi, I’ll show you all the arigato I learned just to impress you fondly,
I’ll rent the most expensive hotel room to make some love,
We’ll use it,
Trash
And break it,
I don’t care about money, besides, having you is priceless.
I’ll love you to Mars and Jupiter,
I’ll name some planets maybe make some up to pretend I’m a genius,
I’m definitely not the greatest,
But fake it til you make it, apply that to us, pretend you love me and I’ll kiss you softly.
My life has been broken, ripped and thrown, away in the trash but you pieced it with some voodoo,
Now let me pay back the favor back and say I love you,
Forever and ever I’ll text you at night,
I might miss a day but maybe I’m lost within my words all because you left me speechless,
Your body sculpted by Michelangelo,
Your smile painted by Picasso,
But don’t be mistaken you can do much better I’m just fighting to convince you I’m the one.
But even after all this time,
I regret not holding you, not kissing you not loving you,
I had you within my reach
Now I’m left apart from love and hope
But every text is like a take back, I scroll through our pictures and wonder, why we didn’t take more,
Maybe skinny dipping or giggling,
Don’t care never did, just need you back,
I’ll fly you back to, where paradise is set,
We’ll stop by LA, I’ll meet your friends I’ll buy some clothes to reach your level, maybe will even break a sweat ‘cause after all you are my: deepest love my queen so beautiful.
I’ll fly you to Texas, I’ll meet your family, introduce me as the super tall, ******, don’t care what you say ‘cause just driving you around is my pleasure and dreams I had of.
Don’t be mistaken, I loved swimming, within our convos, but maybe now we can settle down and agree that down down very deep down, I love you and maybe you love me,
Or maybe not I’m prolly just tripping, not in space but within your beauty, I want you, be mine,
Forever high,
On the clouds I’ll lie, I’ll lie lie lie, and I’ll say whatever childish line, comes out of my mouth, don’t be surprised if, I just freeze and stare, because every glance you ever gave, just now assure me you could be mine, but baby I’m sorry poor choice on my part,
Just let me make it up to you, I’ll take you to Lake Whitney, we’ll chill and read,
“I got this poetry book here,”
And I’ll pretend to know every line,
Understand every word,
Whatever it takes for you to be mine.