I am free
like the leaf blowing away
dancing in the wind, traveling farther than I've ever been.
A new season brings change
and death so I can start anew.

This is a rebirth—
I will bid farewell to all this hurting,
I will shed this skin along with what I once felt,
and leave a little thank you note on the fridge
for all the bad days when I felt like sinking into my bed to disappear.

This is a reincarnation—
I'll revel in the familiarity of days long gone like past lives,
I'll listen again to the songs I loved when I was fourteen
and perhaps find new meanings,
I'll search for the innocence I lost to time and age,
and hang on to every bit of soul and memory I can muster.

This is a renaissance—
Little by little I shall rediscover my body and heart,
My soul will awaken with curiosity and be fuelled with a lust for life,
I'll fall in love once more with the world in a different light.

This is the revolution—
It's the dawn of a new age of knowing my own worth.
I have allowed myself to feel and hurt, to love and lose.
Like rebuilding a fallen civilization
I will step forward defiantly and vulnerably,
I will love myself and live unlike before.

Pulse:
There’s living and there’s dying, but worst is this half life:
this tap water dripping, slow molding of the

Mind:
It sells me lies about who’s right and wrong,
it validates my dogma but vilifies my

Soul:
That hunger that bubbles up and out my throat,
that sees myself in that wasted *** with that

Sign:
Maybe not a burning bush but a breakdown,
a point so low we used our last energy to let out this

ROAR:
Shake out your heart like a sheet;
take a torch to the hive mind and

Dance:
Spinning in an alley downtown in the rain,
the beat beats beats beats:

Love
is all that matters,
it’s all that matters now.

what a fickle
flawed
fabled
a creature:
the woman
the wild
dark
apparition
in the corner.
what a fickle
thing
is love:
we hunt
we carve
we hunger
our mouths water
for a touch
of love
but when it sits
on our dinner plate
it eats
us:
a reckoning
of blood and guts.
It is only in the dark
that we are
fickle
flawed
fabled
with our stomachs
empty,
leaving love
untouched.

If you want to hear the real truth, then:
Truth is I’ve felt like an actor in this rebirth,
a kidnapped hitchhiker of this change.

Is this even possible, I’ve wondered aloud:
Is this just another mask?
Am I just rehearsing some lines?

I've tried to write a new chapter but
my pen cuts the paper ‘cause
I’m trying so hard.

Truth is I wasn’t sure I’d changed but then,
today I cut a lemon with more joy
than I think I’ve had in my whole life.

That I'd picked out my grave plot but now:
I'm thinking raised beds and tomatoes
so I can make spaghetti for some new love.

Would you like to believe you've hurt me
Would like to think you've caused my fall
But the truth of the matter, is that its mind over matter
And you don’t really matter at all

Would you like to believe that you stole my happy
When you tried to wrench the joy from my core
But laughter is loving, and loving is living
And you don’t live in my laugh anymore

Would you like to believe that my wounds are eternal
Would you like me to concede
Well my blood is thick and if you shed another drop
My blood will make yours bleed

Would you like to think you've won
When your eyes don’t meet mine when we speak
But talk is just talk and I'm done talking
Because without a walk, words are weak

I thought I was finished
But I told you myself, an end is a beginning
So here we are again.

I'm not the same person you've been reading.

Since then I've died and was born again.

It's always a difficult process, you know...
Living, dying and living again
It's like leaving yourself to die
It's like ending your life only to come back.

Never is it a good sign when you're sorry for yourself dying.

I heard my last heartbeats and my first as well.

So I'm here again.

The same body, the same voice, the same face and words...
Well, hello again, friend
I'll be your noise for the evening.

It's begun, just as it is over
I'm still here, just as I am not
Life, death and rebirth are all the same.

I understand and I do not understand
I do (not) understand
I'm alive.

Everything I've ever known is more than what I thought
I've learned that through the eyes of the world
Just as the king has admitted his faults and his hurt
And it is now that I forever forgive him.

Just as I am the same, I am completely new
I don't hate myself anymore
I don't hate you anymore
So please, will it and stay with me.

Infinity isn't desirable, that is why our lives aren't limitless
We are here for a time and then suddenly, we're not
But we're still here then...
The us in others still lives on forever.

I have begun to learn to love myself
Just as I have begun to understand that I love you.

There is hope within me, even though what's left is emptiness
I smile as I glance upon the face of emptiness
Your face.
Her face.
My face.

The end is nigh, as is the beginning
I just have to will it
As this world is different than I thought.

Reality is just what I perceive it as.

I want you to stay in my reality
Not everything, not everyone
But you're important
And we're important.

And with that, The Third Child's words have ended.
And with that, The Third Child's tears have ended.
And with that, The Third Child's wants have ended.
But with that, The Third Child's journey has begun.

I love you.

Komm, süsser Tod.

You are not born with a promise of prosperity or happiness.
You are not raised to bide your time until your future is unlocked.

You are born from struggle, into struggle.
Bringing you into this world was a physically painful act.
It was hours of unrelenting pain, not knowing when it would end. But…

Even so the moment your eyes opened and the world saw you.
All that pain was forgotten, in the blink of an eye.
I promise it was that quick, to erase all trace of the pain it took to bring you to where you are.
Only a glimpse into your beautiful eyes and all was right in the world.

So you, dear one, sit and struggle through life.
You feel there is no end to your pain.
That every turn you take holds nothing, nothing you want, nothing you need.
Remember you were not born with a promise of prosperity or happiness.
There is no one who saved it all away for you to have one day.

Instead you were given a gift, of sorts.
One so small, yet infinitely complex.

You were given choice.

The ability to choose.
You were given understanding and foresight, as fickle as it may be to think you can understand life and in so fore tell the future.
But you can.

You need only choose.
Make small choices, take small steps.
Decide.
Then go.
Go slow, take it easy.
Until you gain more understanding.
Gain it wherever you can, every little bit helps.
Remember you choose the direction you take.
So be brave, when its needed.
Don’t fight other people’s wars.
Don’t push back.
Don’t struggle.
Simply understand, and change direction.

You were not made of stone.
You are not a slave to the will of others.
You are not a cog in the wheel.
You are uniquely you, in every way.
You are meant for the life you want.
You need only understand your strength.
So that you can use it.
Use it to cut a passage through thick grass, on a path no one has ever taken.
Because its yours alone to take.
For you to discover,  inch by inch, mile by mile, go slow, but please do go…

Be brave and know there is nothing you cannot overcome.
Be calm and listen, not to those who speak loudly or those who choose to think for you.
But listen, deep down in you, you know what’s there.
You know that little voice is never wrong, no matter how quietly it speaks.
It speaks only your truth.
A truth that will never fail you.  
You will never fail.
You simply discover, discover a world meant only for you.

So please don’t give up, don’t give in, chin up, for all this will fade in the blink of an eye.
You will forget this pain and see only the beauty that is left.

Beauty only your eyes can perceive…