Because you’ll never see the northern lights
because you’ll never travel the world
Because you’ll never get a tattoo
Because you’ll never buy a house
Because you’ll never see your brother get married
Because you’ll never hold a baby
Because you won’t be able to blow out the candle that’s still burning in your room
Because you’ve never had *** with someone who didn’t leave bruises
Because you’ve never touched anyone that you felt oceans for
Because you’ll never get closure
Because I’ll never tell you how I feel
Because you’ll never get over your stage fright
Because your friends care about you
Because maybe you like me too
Because weekends when you are home is all your mother looks forward to
Because your dogs won’t understand why you don’t come home anymore
Because your parents shouldn’t have to bury their daughter
Because your roommate will find you and never forget how you look heaped on the floor
Because you’ll never get ******* tab dividers to organize your ******* binder
Because you can do this
Because there’s a universe inside of you
Because you’ll never finish telling your story
You’re ripping pages out before you’ve read them
Doesn’t it scare you that you’ve only left 23
Because you deserve more
Because it will get better
Because I love you

There are two types of suicide
Kinds that nobody sees
A coward's way out
Or a hero's last ride

Like one last high
That feels like the first time
Fixing all their struggles and blights
As they float off into the eternal night

Because the cowards wanted to die all along
Some just picked up a gun right then
Others picked up a ****
And others decided to run

They're told it makes them happy
Because they are fundamentally weak
When they always knew its a poison
That might not work this week

Or those breaking in on lightning
Because there was never reason
For those who begged to please
But were forced up to a heavenly prison

Saving lives gives a meaning
With the moral set on repeat
And you never stop to think
You can't when your always on your feet

So they all give meaning to an empty dull life
Deciding their different methods
Of walking down the scenic route
To a long suicide

i.

Each night she will hide inside
while blankly staring at the ceiling
a fake smile will paint on her face
and there flashbacks will start to appear
mixed emotions inside her
the feeling of being unwanted
will slowly destroy her heart again


ii.

Without even knowing tears will fall
trying to wipe it with a piece of cloth
yet it won't stop till she fall asleep
her sobs are becoming louder each night
trying to cover her mouth so one will know
that she's in pain and just pretending to be happy

iii.

Bucket of tears day by day
caused by the unknown pain
of loving unconditionally
yet got nothing in return but
pain, sorrow, despair and hatred
bucket of tears is what you gave to her
instead of embracing her onto your arms

iv.

To leave is all what she wanted
yet there's no more escape
she's inside a jar of memories
that you made together
but she's now left alone hanging
and only looking back at those
while you walked away
without even saying your final goodbye

no, it will not be about
the moon,
nor about the sprinkles of stars
shining so
soon,

when the queen sun slowly
sinks,
sinks,
to her grave called
western horizon,

i will give
thanks,
thanks,
for 'nother 24 hours
of millions
inhales
and exhales,

and for my existence's
unknown reasons.

Meeting my best friend whose first identity was my neighbor

A (friendly) doggo on every corner full of excitement and perhaps joining you on your walk

Feeling so confident that you know how to drive by age 13

The school, YMCA, and grocery store all down one street and up a left or down to the right

Friendly hellos and sweet compliments from fellow town members

The only thing brighter than street lights are the stars on a clear dark night

The smell of a wood stove or campfire burnin in the summer night air

The dirt roads behind the town roughed by ***** ole trucks and four-wheelers

It's not paradise but it's home to the heart

Black
Little
Anomalies
Now
Known