I'm an ill omen,
I'm told.

It doesn't faze me.
I just put my mask on.

I become
a puzzle,
a labyrinth,
impossible to read,
not me anymore.

I'm an ill omen,
I'm told.

I wear my mask.
I'm fine.


I cry rivers inside.

You can't see how it breaks me.
You can't see how you hurt me.

I realised only now.

This isn't good.
This isn't alright.

Just because I can take it,
doesn't mean I should.

I bow out from this hell.

I will no longer apologise
for being me.

I'm an ill omen,
I'm told.  
                 Your loss.

Sometimes I dream of sunsets and warm clouds
The end to a tiresome long day
I see the birds return to their little nests
And how the crickets came out to play

I dream of places we used to go
A path, A tree, A forest
Places where I've seen rainbows without rain

It was just like I've woken up for the first time
Head heavy.
Eyes weary.
As I sit up I got basked in yellow, comforting rays
They hug me in deep embrace
I sigh
"It's beautiful" I said

I come to be awake
But it seems like I've lost my glasses
For I see no one else, but myself on that bench
I tap the planks of wood that have endured rain and shine
Tap, TaP, TAp
But the rays hugged no one, but me
Comforted no one, but me

This silence grew uneasy
I focused in, squinting eyes and ears
For something, someone
But all I heard
Was the wind rustle through the leaves
And it whispered to me , "you're fine"

Was I?

Sometimes life doesn’t give us any opportunity
To be how you wanna be
Sometimes it doesn’t let us feel
How we want to feel
But what i have realised is
We take life for granted
And forget about the things we already have
Let us learn to appreciate what we have
Until we lose it all

You were the drought
  and I was the rain that
was going to drown you out.

But you swam like you depended
                on the earth to hold you.

Never letting you hold ground
              cos I took it from under you.

No discipline to hold you like gravity,
        the only thing you'll be doing is sinking..
  

Bottom of the bay, where all wasted things
                sink too, you may take a while.

But believe me you'll end up where the rest
               sank.

Shrink wrapped with
        stones of regret on ya
             ankles of missteps.

When you dried out I was the oasis
                   of plentiful rhyme.

you tried to steal from my fountain
   but i held you under till you drowned.

And as long as no one knows where you
  were ship wrecked, you'll be a drought
in a sea of plentiful moisture
                                    that i drink upon.

I brush your love,
and I am in a tizzy;
feet bare and loose
on the grass and soil,
reaching the far stretches
of land like the sea;
skies dappled with
large clouds, as blue and clear
as a baby's set of eyes;
love so deep and cavernous,
and wedged deep into the earth,
a depth of which I could not fathom;
strong and mischievous like the wind
in a storm of your emotions,
wrecking civilizations like they were
made out of paper.

You left me in awe
when you told me that
your love was boundless
like the universe.

So imagine my surprise
about the depth of your love
when I had once underestimated it
so much. When I brushed you off
like lint on my coats and shirts. Not
deeming you worthy of my time, as I watched you move and love another.

I have never stated that the love I had witnessed was ever mine.

it was a silent splash
into the river
and all its bewitching curves

as it sank into his pores
his mouth his ears
his eyes his body

as one second of purity
washed countless years
of killings and being killed

cleansing him from the inside-out

then he sees him
on the other side

again.

for a moment they freeze
in their shock

the quiet ripples are no longer
silent as they scramble out to shore
as they ignore their bare bodies
as they reach for their veteran
killing machines

and for another moment

he watches him crawl up to shore
while he aims it at his head
his finger at the trigger

but in this moment

in their nakedness

stripped of identity

they are one and the same

they are no different

there is no violence no hurt no war no sadness no killing no hate no guns no knives no punches no kicks no grenades no trenches no shrapnel no-

and with a muted splash
he feels the river
of blood running down
his head

as the moment of realisation
slips away