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Keebo Nov 2019
Every time I reflect on myself
The more I realise I’m somebody else
The real me is somewhere deep down
Drowning inside, screaming for help
However I ignore this & create my day
I live life in many interesting ways
Some say I’m quirky and very strange
Very unique but ****** in the brain
Some say they know the rise & fall of my story
The drugs, the lonely hearts
The regrets & the glory
Everybody knows my name and my fox like personality
The attention itself slowly suffocates me
But when you see me sitting quietly
Looking lost, feeling everything
That’s me saying so long and farewell
Goodbye to my true self
The one I ignored and left to drown
Vic Oct 2019
The thing that hurts the most, to realise, is that no matter how much I love you, and how much I tell you that, it won't change the fact that you want to end yourself. I am powerless, and that's pretty awful, because not a lot of people want you to be okay more than I do, and I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry for that
A poem every day.
22-10-19

I'm sorry, I didn't know what to write. I thought of this last night, and my inspiration is gone, so here we are.
John H Dillinger Aug 2019
Have you ever experienced the revelation
That: you will never, really, Know anything?

At that moment I diminished into the sunset,
With it's deepening colours,
Into a soothing blackness,
A darkness from which anything could come,
Chaos/Stars.
Every instance became a gift,
So that I could indulge in this anarchic relief,
Relenting,
Euphoric,
To my Lack of Control.



My Psyche enjoys this Bellyrub,
Intimate comfort,
Love of Everything & Nothing,
By my own design,
Bathing, surrounded by the candles of my Contradictions,
Burning from both ends.
A country-boy born in the city;
The introverted extrovert;
A dependant independent.



A pattern emerges from this chaos,
In the shape of me,
Tied down but free,
Wondering: What's the next thing I'll 'see'.
This poem was written through an exercise I like to do with friends. I basically ask a friend to give me three words that I then take and turn into a poem. It's an interesting exercise as everyone gives different words for different reasons. I like this exercise as it pushes you on trains of thought that you might not otherwise travel down.
The words given in this instance were: Bellyrub, Country-boy and Chaos.
My friend, in this case was speaking directly to me so this is why it takes on such a personal tone.

Enjoy..
larni Aug 2019
you never really realise
how much someone means to you
until you almost lose them
for good
Little Green Jun 2019
Long ago
They had me think
That life
Was a straight line

A set of steps
That someone made
School, job
Marry, child

Now the possibilities
In this glorious world
Have exploded
In my mind

Many ways
To live on Earth
Many ways
To use our time

One day
We will be nothing
But the history
Of human-kind

So, each moment
We get to live
I find
Stupendously sublime
Emily May 2020
sometimes
it all just hits me.
and my thoughts start racing
getting louder in my head
as I slip down the wall
tears running down my face,
and I realise nobody is ever meant to be this hurt,
but
we all are
and it just comes in  
different forms
different ways
different demons
YH May 2019
life is beautiful
but it is also sad
of all the good things
there is also the bad
and it feels as though the bad is always embracing the good
that there is more bad than there is good in this world

and when the mind is overloaded with the negative
sometimes the drowning can't be stopped

the world starts to understand
that the happiest people may just be the saddest
and it fills me with grief
as it is anything but untrue
true to the point it hurts me

my secret was being revealed

it strips me off my feigned confidence
and leaves me with an empty shell
empty of love
of all the good things in life

i am sad for myself
who have turned out this way

and in the end i only have myself to hold
but i do not like me
not now
not ever

so tell me

how shall i live?

— Y.H.

my own personal epiphany,
gentle fervor.
i'm asking
how do i appreciate the good
if the bad never goes away

it is my mind that i have no control over
it is just me all along

(c) Y.H.
Natasha Bailey May 2019
RELAPSE


The time when it feels like life is throwing you fire

That moment when you decide to temporary mentally retire

In hopes to repair and recover

Before you got to get your thoughts together

A timer ticking, with less than four days.

Then you realise 2 days have slipped in a foggy haze

Another 12 hours disappear in a blink while I’m stuck in this maze

Mind jammed on repeat, running same old relays

Life on the brink, Useless skits stuck on replay.


Disaster strikes it’s second hit,

With the bowel empty, out of ****,

tired and wired

In some serious need.

Next door possesses my ****,

clock strikes 2am,

no hope for the action called- boomerang

thoughts doing laps- thinking-

Why did I leave it there for so long?

Drug-enduced thoughts shift the blame,

How could they do me so wrong?


By not returning Billson after borrowing,

Leads to plan B’s decease.

The creation of black death to ease the worrying.

Now in search for some other sweet release.

Should have prepared a stash of sleepers

But I’ve used them all up,

Option C – A pill with effects like ******,

Zanexe don’t stand a chance anymore,

Immune to those dowsers, always needing a top-up.

The familiar stench of the chemicals on my skin,

Reminds me of all the times I swore I hated this sin.

Yet here I am again, where on earth do I begin?

Perhaps when I had my first lapse,

6 days ago, 2 points and didn’t collapse.

Which fertilised the seed planted by an addict

1 month off a year clean…

I was truly recovering

Then hell froze over turning my skies unclear,

That tickle got me thoughtful with the unspoken words - ‘I gotta have more’.

For of cause tomorrow I know I will be sore,

With that familiar dismantling pain,

For I have walked this road before.



For it I search, an act previously well-rehearsed

Found and purchase ordered,

I reach into my purse,

And as easy as that, transaction recorded.




- LetterGoddess
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