honestly i don't give a f if its controversial
why can't people actually think for themselves anymore?!

I feel so fed up and so angry inside,
maybe to others they think,
why does she care so much ?!
because I was harmed by this ideology
of gender,
of telling me that I am not a women,
of dictating to me who I must be ,
of what labels and what pronouns I should carry ,
that it no longer feels safe to me to be in my own community.

Of brainwashing so many others
no what we need is a more loving society
where women can be loud
without being labled as masculine or non binary
where men can be emotional without being labled as gay
can't you see its just mysogony in another form?

gender ideology
thinks its making strides ,
when its really just erasing women more,
and allowing people to steep more into their self hatred
instead of allowing others to be humans
without giving them labels,
to allow those who struggle with dysphoria
to learn how to love themselves
to sit with their pain ,
to ask why do I feel this way??
what has caused me so much pain to make me hate my gender that I was born into?

For me I realized
I experienced so much violence  by men
that it made me hate being a women in many ways,
I wanted to feel strong
I wanted to feel that my voice mattered
so I thought, sometimes I wanna be a man ,
but after thinking more and more I realized
that isn't the truth,
its that the world doesn't feel safe to me
to be a curvy outspoken women ,
who is loud passionate and blunt.
to feel and recoil inside
when the creepy men stare at me
like I'm a  **** -*** doll on wheels ,
I just wanna scream
from the rooftops
I AM A WOMEN,
Allow me to be FREE!

I left religion because it caged me in a box
and now i see that ideologies are the same.
I encourage you to think for yourself,
despite the cancel culture.
for only then can we know,
who isn't a robot
and who is a human.
Humans have their own thoughts,
robots don't question anything.
so start to question.

Don't be fooled by my complacent look
I'll take every word within this book
Give it new meaning, no, it took
Me minutes, or ten hours.
Don't be fooled by my resolve to do
What's not for me, what comes from you,
My mind has still not gone all through
And found reason in these flowers.
For I know I'm of an independent mind
And I know that if the mind is not aligned
With yours, I'll steer my own track down this crooked lane
Where all howl with their might and main
On how they're sitting in the rain
Because investigation, what's that?
Curiosity may have killed the cat,
But don't take food brought just like that
Not knowing what's in the caveat
May land you in the black hat.
And when will you know if you will be pulled out?
And when will you know, if you know, what format?
But, don't be fooled, I won't be sensible,
Sweet, right or comprehensible,
A position indefensible,
Yet infinitely more fun.
Don't be fooled, my reason's lock and key,
There's stumbles still in stock for me,
And alas, many more of these,
Will be some already done.
But I know I'm of an independent mind
And I know that if the mind is not aligned...

Tearing through my skin,
Always picking fights

Trying to acknowledge
whether what's wrong
and what's right

The discomfort and the questioning
"I am not me"

Bound and strapped,
to who I'm 'supposed' to be

I remember when I was a child.
My parents would tell me tales.
Of men dealing with demons.
In the crossroads right out of town.

And I remember quietly.
I had walked down that path too.
Not for money, talent, or fame.
I wanted to know what happiness was like.

And I never knew if I got my wish.
It always felt like things went south.
From within the abandoned crosswalks.
I could feel only sad eyes staring me down.

I felt the whispers and warnings.
Every foggy afternoon.
When I'd wish for the man to supposedly appear.
Just for a simple request.

"I only want to be happy and loved."
It seemed to echo into the neverending winter.
But I waited anyway.
I had barely any warmth to spare.

But nothing came and so I left.
And I felt the pity trail behind my back.
As I walked down the path.
That I decided to stroll down.

And my life continued to go down hill.
I am no longer so young.
I have become accustomed to this world.
To all its cruel games.

I have been broken and shattered
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....I have forgetten.
I am tired.

So I came back to the crossroads.
No more warmth left in my body.
I did not come with a wish this time.
Only seeking a question.

"Why did you not grant my wish?"
And I waited again by the trails.
For anybody to appear now.
Anybody who could give me answers.

"What did I do wrong?"
The trees looked at me with misery.
The clouds gave me it's soft tears.
The mist hugged me as tightly as it could.

And from within the forest.
I could hear it's voice at last.
"You did nothing wrong."
I am shattering by the seams.

"I gave you what you asked for."
Then why am I so unhappy.
"Because happiness never lasts."
Am I always going to feel hopeless?

"No."
Then what am I meant to do?
"Nothing."
I don't understand.

"Because happiness will never mean anything without the struggle."

But I am shattered now, practically dust.
"But a phoenix is also reborn from it's ashes."
I no longer carry anymore warmth.
"But a fire can always be rekindled."

Is that all my life will be worth for?
"Life is always a struggle, it is survival."
But it is not what I asked for.
"No one chooses to have it willingly."

Am I meant to live on?
"Certainly you are."
Why? Why am I meant to be here.
"Because you want to."

What If I don't want to be here anymore.
"You have meaning you always will."
I don't understand.
"Your struggle and success to survive is enough to show for it."

And I could see the soot on my feet gather.
That was when the howling stopped.
I stood there still with no answers.
As the sun began to rise.

But I had a gut feeling I would not return to the crossroads again.

-Rain

Hello death,

I am not afraid of you,
Many are
But I see through you

The facade of what life beyond death truly is
How can anyone know?

False prophets
The drinking of fine wines

I wonder what’s true
And I wonders what is lies