Frantically looking around,
I start to realize
I am alone
I am with me
And only me
No one else around
To cover my eyes from the destruction
Of myself
Of what I make of life
Of what I continue to question
Overthinking is a burden for me
From time to time,
I treat overthinking as a reward system
Slowly giving parts of myself
To something that does not co-exist.
I mean,
What is time?
Why is it always ticking?
Why are we trapped in ourselves?
Is there a way out of this madness of something called a world?
Filled with pitiful human beings
We call ourselves
By names
Constantly labeling ourselves and others
I guess that’s what school has taught us
And that’s all of what early life is
Anyways,
I guess what I am saying is that seas can drown us out
Our mind can play tricks on our physical bodies
Making us feel things that aren’t real
Making us feel things for people who were never real
Or never close to what we’ve made them out to be.
Life is a rope
We’ve got to keep tugging at it
It is the only way we can see
If there is truly a way out
Or if what lies ahead
Is nothing short of millions of miles of distance
From a shore that is close to nothing
Is made up of
A black hole
Or maybe an abyss
A yearning
To see what’s at shore
We must continue searching
And never stopping, for anyone
For anything
What lays ahead.
What lays ahead?

I am questioning
My life
My friendships
My hobbies
My hopes
My dreams
The more I question
The more I doubt
They all disappear
These fleeting memories
These fleeting moments
These feelings
They all disappear
Right before my eyes
But I feel nothing
For them
For me
Nothing at all
Truth is I've always been fleeting
Disappearing
Doubting
Questioning

I use to hurt people,
Now I help people,
The pain brought me some peace,
It had me thinking about my life,
Thinking about my choices,
Looking at myself,
Questioning my motives.

Life ain't the same for me,
Don't think the same,
Don't live the same,
Don't feel the same,
God replaced my heart with a new heart,
Was once cold-hearted,
Now I have a big heart.

Facing pain in the eyes changed my vision,
Crying my eyes out left me numb,
What I felt I can't feel no more,
What I was doing I ain't doing no more,
The way I was living i ain't living no more,
Confessed my sins and repented,
God forgave me,
Right my wrongs,
I'm now singing a new song.

self discovery,
is a strange path
a winded one

its hard to grasp
and will escape your fingers
at any possible chance it has

why is it that
the true version of yourself
tries so hard to get away

skewed by society
warped by our own reality

perhaps our real selves,
aren't real at all

how do i tell
who is the real me