Sometimes life deals you bullets,
And sometimes those bullets stay on your face in the form of grotesque accessories that you never wanted but can't get rid off.
These are the bullets that have hurt me,
and although they only appear on the surface,
I can feel them shooting holes inside of me every day.
They ****** my confidence and wound my features leaving me with the smallest but most impactful scars for the rest of my life.
To the bullets that throb on my face,
for now, I will hate you,
resent you,
cry over you but one day I will be the last one standing,
I will be the Victor, with a face held high in a bright light staring happily in a mirror.
However, this is the future, I just wish that the future would come as quick as a bullet.

just like a seed,
i will continue to grow
tears will educate me
and sunshine-like people
will motivate me
to be a better person
i am today.

shirelles
monday night
alone in a big house
light the candles
another one of my rituals
born one hour,
dead the next
to make room
for other
prayers
postures
pen tips
but the way candles
flicker in the sweet
soul
is not another ritual
warm life
to the tune of golden
notes
swimming through
once bleak
     once empty
once impure
       air
and suddenly, I am baptized
more than I ever was
in that sterile, dead
chlorine
    more than spent hymns
in drafty cathedrals
       so, the sound lives.


my bed would tilt
           at twelve years old
I'd wake
               startled of the
                       psychic death
spread like bodies after
            a paid for war
I'd scream like the cats
              fighting by the window
at my aunts house
               I would huddle with
my childhood
                     hiding from the puberty
that stalked me
like a jungle cat
               the mind reeled with
my spent pulse and
                 at night
                        under shamed
                   covers
                                 bitten fingertips
the white light
           on the street
                              looking on

The horror, the rain,
The misery, the pain.
The factors of teenagehood
And its ghostly being.

From nasty rivalry,
The silver teardrops quench the
Hunger of discaring boys.
They move on to their next victim.

Words like love, hate, *****,
Are thrown around and toyed with.
Teenage socialism is a witch,
Sweeping misery across the generation.

Heartbreaking, the look in their eyes,
Well up with tears, victims to lies.

Teenagehood, it grasps you
By its crooked claws.
From your peace, it rips apart
Your soul and leaves damage in its trail.

Why do we have to suffer?
Why can’t we return to the world?
The world we loved and cherished.
Toys and songs, now perished.

Puberty, hatred, fear,
They all add up to one phase in life.
With its treacherous fangs.
Hurt from distrust brings misery near.

With sympathy to all,
For a long journey ahead.
Hold on to your sanity,
For the reason you have previously read.

Now, what the hell has just happened to me?
i went to sleep, and felt semi human,
alarm goes off, open my eyes to see,
two mounds where my wee chest should be....

My ****** armpits stink, and have sprouted fuzz,
and there,s hair where my lady garden was,
my beautiful blonde hair is all goopy and limp,
and my face bares a likeness to a spotty young chimp....

When i went up to bed, i loved my dear mother,
now, the thought of a cuddle makes me run and take cover,
and that lanky Josh Owens used to repulse me, no end,
but today all i want is to be his girlfriend....

I suppose i will have to start wearing a bra,
and i,ll have to smile through all the taunts from grandma,
and my father will watch every move that i make,
and i,ll have to conform, for my sanity's sake....

Well, tonight when i lay down my spotty wee head,
i will lie here and wait for the morning, with dread,
with all these transformations,sweaty armpits, hair all grease,
oh dear universe, please help me make it through in one piece !!

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018   (re-edited)

Being 15
You realize,
Life's not a dream.
People think
You are more than just a teen.
Life gets confusing,
Everyone you ever knew changes
Nothing really makes sense anymore,
Now that you're 15.
Love, studies, friendship, betrayal,
Everything gets mixed up.
You might see someone in a completely new light
And someone might see you that way
But nobody understands
You might be annoyed with everyone
Or love one person passionately
You'll never feel home
And feel all alone,
And no one will understand
That when you're 15,
You're nothing more
Than just
A teen.

It came very late at midnight,
Evolving like a parasite.
Twist and bend and inverse,
This mind gets too perverse.
My body craves fresh appetite.