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Havran Apr 2022
"Far away,
but never truly apart."
~D.A.
Robert McQuate Apr 2022
The Södenberg sisters sing to me tonight,
Their words sending me far from this slightly cold balcony,
To a realm of asphalt and dusty wind.

For my first 10 years there were no roads,
But a plethora of paths,
Criss crossing,
Winding to and fro,
Foot beaten little things in a great forest,
Filled with trees, creeks, waterfalls, and animals,
Birds singing beautiful songs as they sail through the trees,
Squirrels chattering from their perches amongst the great branches,
Whitetails observing my progress of the child .

As a young boy I'd sprint down these paths,
Unheeding of the odd roots that were placed along the paths,
So happy to just be moving forward,
To see what played around the next bend.

The next 10 years were simple things,
A two lane town road,
Buildings of my hometown on lined either side,
Their facades as they were,
Before the place of my forefathers got too big too fast,
Where all it's citizens knew my parents,
And by extention, me,
The birds and squirrels still there,
Although their number greatly diminished.

My pace was greatly diminished,
No longer some great sprint,
But a gentle jog,
Taking in the familiar sites,
But excited to leave this place,
Impatient for a change of scenery and anticipating some great adventure.

The next 3 were a treacherous yet exciting road,
A winding mountain pass,
Steep sloaped and lined with switchbacks,
Giving beautiful mountain vista views,
But with this new road also came the realization,
That the road could be a dangerous thing,
One slip could give way to a great fall,
The once gentle jog gave way to a cautious walk,
Wary of foot placement and step,
No birds here,
No squirrels,
But instead of the rumble of far off thunder,
And the howling of distant wolves.

Then came the next four,
The thunder no longer far off,
The wolf howls no longer distant,
The asphalt cracked and split,
Closed in on both sides by a thick and menacing wood,
And through the darkness of the nearly moonless night the darting shapes of beasts could be seen.

Rain slashing down,
Galing winds battering me,
My body worn down,
My walk but a limp,
Taking my broken self forward,
One dragging step after another,
A constant struggle to find the energy to make it one step further,
To find reason to keep going.

But like some great magic trick the wooding cleared,
The rain stopped,
And the wolves pulled back.

It was here that I found you next to me.

This new road is a bit cracked,
A bit disused,
The desert beautiful with Mesas to either side,
My pace quickened,
No longer a slogging trudging thing,
But also not a run,
A relaxing stride that feels good and steady,
Churning onward to the mountains in the distance.

I look to you and you smile,
You smile back,
And it is here that I see hawks up above,
A fox to the far right,
Observing these travelers passing through it's lands.

No longer an unlined face,
Bearded and festooned with a smattering of scars,
Earned through foolish fights and terrible tumbles,
But gladly won and worn all the same,
Sun kissed skin taking in the pleasant warm arid air.

I know not where this road leads,
But the excitement returns once more,
And that I no longer need to travel it alone,
That traveling is never meant to be done all on one's own,
That it's the company that makes the trip worth it.

With that the duo's song ends,
And I am transported back to this balcony,
The air still clung to with the slipping grasp of winter's last vestiges,
And it's begrudging release so close at hand,
Bring forward new beginnings,
And new roads to be traversed.
First aid kit-My silver linings
Heavy Hearted Apr 2022
Red & blue sage in remembrance of you
Gladiolus, carnations-
pink poppies too.

While foxglove protects
With larkspur and flax,
The windflowers wilt but always grow back.

White lilies for hope
And forget-me-nots true,
an innocence captured in their ambiguous blue.

Griefs Pink and white orchids,
Support’s crimson rose-
the healing of hyacinth,

flowers & prose.
written in  tribute, to the family of a good friend.
louella Apr 2022
it hurts cause i remember those nights when my favorite song blared on the ipad and i laughed and cried with you. i miss feeling alive while dancing around my small room, dreaming in color, not just in black and white. i feel the longing in my body to go back home- to you. weeks passed and i still smelled your scent in every corner, everywhere i turned. i remember happiness like it was some foreign good, so beautiful yet horrifying. i miss that feeling. the winter frost was frigid and i was miserable, but at least i was having fun, making memories. life grew stronger and stronger and i became weaker with a busted back. now all i want is my last year self back.
sometimes i despise the past and sometimes i miss the past

4/6/22
m lang Feb 2022
it was the frustration.
the frustration caused by
your arbitrary outbursts of anger,
whilst vomiting words of resentment and regret.
words that melted into my veins,
tarnishing my blood
with the ink that fueled my writers hand.

the dependency and obligations that i had to be yours,
and yours only.
the suffocation entrapped me
              (((inside of a cage)))
                       so small.
once i finally remembered,
"i could spread my wings."
i realized your latch couldn't hold me captive.

the salty tears that endlessly
stained my cheeks,
swelled my eyes,
and shortened my breath.
the emotions, the motions,
my body was speaking to me.
i was finally able to listen.

the intensity of emotions
without regard for
                           emotional intelligence.
it never made for a successful relationship,
but it sure as hell made for a good story.

our love ended at the cost of many cons,
but it came with a recipe for beautiful prose.
1-31-2022
kate Mar 2022
i am someone's story. in one person's tale, i am the girl who plays the role of the comic relief. the one who makes people laugh and smile, as well as providing humor. in one another person’s storyline, i am the main lead, bringing to life all of those desired characteristics. in another's eyes, i may be the wise sage who gives guidance at critical stages in their lives. however, when i stop to think about it, i find that i am the antagonist in someone else's plot. the bad guy, to be precise. and no matter how hard i try to change my ways, the reality is that i am who i am to them, and in certain situations, there is nothing i can do to change it. in their book of life, i am the arrogant evil villain.

but then you came. everything changed when you walked into my life out of nowhere. you appeared in my life like a shooting star and filled my heart with bliss. and i've never felt safer or vibrant than i do when i'm around you. not once in my life have i felt so alive. it seemed as if you were unveiling new layers of greatness to me with each passing moment. i've never seen that much gentleness in a lone soul before. in the shadows, you were gently carving out a space for yourself in my heart without me even realizing it.

you embraced my grief as if it were your own and showed me love as no one else ever could. everytime i felt like i was on the verge of falling, you stayed with me. when i was weak, you were my pillar of support. when i needed someone to weep on, you were there for me. because of your smile, i was able to make my existence on this planet worthwhile. for a long time, it seemed impossible to feel so connected to someone. however, it is quite simple to feel intertwined with you. i can't tell you how good it makes me feel. i've began to realize that i had no idea what it felt like to be truly loved until i met you.
we're the villain in soneone else's story but there's only person who can make you feel the essence of being a main character of the story.
Rea Feb 2022
now i'm trying to look for someone who makes me feel like
i don't deserve them.
like it took the power of all the celestial objects
for you to want me.
i'm tired of thinking i deserve things,
it's good to be reminded of my faults.
want to feel like i am the one girl in the crowd
you chose to come on stage and be by your side.
i want to say "i don't deserve you" until my voice stops working.
i don't want to deserve you but i want you to love my anyway.
Havran Jan 2022
I used to associate the act of unfiltering to the removal of cigarette filters; instead of smoke, I inhaled fire, and instead of nicotine, I tasted dark chocolate. Sharing my truths with you is exactly like that. Set fire to the trees, and once the breeze has cleared away the smoke, sit next to me, lean against me, and let’s gaze at the ocean.
~D.A.
Mykarocknrollin Jan 2022
the time when you are just seven
the time when you just know odd and even
the time when you don't breakeven
missing that year seven
where we are not mistaken
where we are not longing for affection
where issues are not getting worsen
can we begin again
Lux Falls Jan 2022
Cold sheets
Restless mind
and a heavy chest
What a painful trio
That sings to a moonless night
What kind of sorrow could be
caught up in a loveless night?

Wet eyes spilling
on pillow billings
Bed swallowing the body whole
What emotion would ever make an adult coo
Like a baby calling from their lonely cot
What glee to make us all fools
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