by nightfall, i am just a creature.
of habit one could say or
of countless wild misgivings.
a creature with her hands clutched at her stomach
that moves up and down
when the breath begins—
she is human
much to her dismay.
she claws at the human form she was
blessed—no, cursed—with.
the pale moon stares with fluttering open eyes.
i wish i could just hide
in the bushes and wait for
some other creature
to lessen the ache
that prances in my bones
like leaping frogs that never tire.
much to my dismay,
there are many nightfalls where
others do not question their positions,
do not wonder why or
pine for
another
body, a warmer climate to indulge themselves in.
i am but a creature
whose body is battered and sick,
where illness spreads throughout.
i regurgitate any satisfaction
that lingers
a bit too long for comfort.
this mouth shuts slowly
but opens again
and all the creatures of habit slip out again
from its opening

and the rest flood from the stomach walls
and i am not human anymore—
rather something purging itself of the danger
of its own grip
from the inside
out.

You were the number one my whole life,
You were there when I turned five.
We used to be best friends,
But everything someday ends.

We drifted apart over time,
You became more sour than a lime.
From heaven to war we went,
What was said I hope wasn’t meant.

I still love you and always will,
Even with all the bad you spill.
I stand tall when you talk,
Yet some words still leave me in shock.

I cry when the night comes,
The words hurting me are my mom’s.
Scared to speak to protect you,
Don’t have an opinion, that’s what I do.

Never give up they say,
Give it time for a better day.
She is family don’t cut her out,
But I don’t want to continue on this route.

I can’t fix things when you don’t care,
I suffer because of you’re how is that fair.
I don’t wanna lose my own mom,
Yet your presence won’t leave me calm.

Friends again just in my dreams,
It is exactly how it seems.
I write this to ease my mind,
To help leave hard feelings behind.

Only time will tell,
If we’re ever getting out of this hell.
Hope it is soon or I will quit,
But I will regret every bit.

First he left now so did you,
But he came back as I grew.
You left me because I am sick,
Became very distant pretty quick.

Now you don’t care at all,
All I have is our daily call.
We barely talk when I am home,
All the time I feel alone.

God give me a reason to try again,
I want to stop this deep pain.

I sit at the table
While a different part of my brain
Tells me that I can't eat
Or i'll go through more pain

The bullies will come back
They'll hurt me more
I hate my life
I miss how it was before

Why is it so hard to eat
Why is it so hard to talk
Why is it so hard to run
instead of choosing to walk

I don't want to gain weight
I don't want to lose
I wish that whether I eat or not
Is something I can choose

My friends have started to notice
How little I eat….
I don't want to talk about it…

When a project has been abandoned, creators of said project will solve small, irrelevant problems, so as to give themselves an ounce of satisfaction, rather than just solve the problem as a whole.

"It's a scam!" I said
before I fled,
as I sacked up all
the lady's bread.
And the *** made out
with all her stuff
having pointed out
the Kettle's bluff..