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Em or Finn Oct 2017
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
Please be cautious when reading. If you feel you'll be triggered in any way, please don't read. Thank you.


I'm done.

Done with trying too hard
Done with sleepless nights
Done with disappointment
Done with being a disappointment

Done with hearing their voices in my head
Done with seeing visions of my abuse
Done with being around people
That just don't care

I know they care
But my brain tells me they can't be trusted
They're like everyone else
I avoid "everyone else"

I'm done with my anxiety
Done with my sexuality
Done with my gender
Done with my PTSD

Done trying to pretend I'm happy
When all I've wanted to do is cry
But crying would make others uncomfortable
And doing that in the past led to peer abuse

I'm done with my brain going on tangents
Done with having a constant smile on my face
Even though it's fake
And everyone knows it is

Done with heaving after a panic attack
Done with my abusive visions becoming reality
Done with feeling nothing
Done with being anything

Done with breathing
Done with living
Because at this point
What is there to live for?
My feelings for the past couple days. Getting help and doing my best to get better. Wrote this to relieve some pressure.
Jellyfish Sep 2017
I can tell, you're pushing me out.
You're growing tired of having me around.
It's obvious and makes me feel as though
I could just drown...
I never thought the day would come
when you'd want me out.
I don't know if I can do it.
yellah girl Sep 2017
the gray storm pounds on my doorstep
a wizened man bent as a willow
he breathes temptation
but i do not
inhale.
J Valle Sep 2017
I'm stumbling like a toddler in a room.
My hands are on my sides plane-like in the air
trying to give me some balance, to keep me from falling.
My feet hurt and are clumsy, they're not used to this.
I'm using my father's shoes.

I'm wearing them to feel like an adult,
like one of those old humans who go and live an adult life,
but my father's shoes are too big for my baby feet,
no matter how hard I try, they just don't fit.

But I keep doing it.
I'm not alone in this room,
There's no way I would be doing this just for myself,
maybe at the beginning, when it was fun.
My family is staring at me.

They are all expectators.
Of this crazy show I'm directing,
Half thinking I'm cute for pretending to be one of them.
The other half's just waiting for the moment I trip and start crying.

My father's shoes are too big for me,
This adult mockery is not for me,
Just as I realize about this.

I trip.
mjad Sep 2017
There is never ending pressure
To be the light in such a darkened society
But what can a candle with no wick do
Besides melt at the heat of another
Nook Aug 2017
What's with the world we live in
There's nothing we believe in
What's the point in living
They say keep believing
So suffocating, barely breathing

We were filled with hope
Now barely hanging by a rope
How are supposed to cope

Tryna do things our way
Stop making trouble go away
Driving us to the fray

But amongst all the gloom
We will not meet our doom
And although clouds loom
Our abilities we will groom
Work #1
Nicole Dawn Jul 2017
You can feel it
I know you can

(You must be perfect)

It's in the pinching shoes
Tight little shorts
Heavy rings and jewelry

(You must be perfect)

It's in the noise
In the bright lights,
Warm bodies

(You must be perfect)

It's in the heat of hair
On your neck,
In tired made-up eyes

(You must be perfect)

It's in the air we breathe
Every moment we're outside

I can feel it
I know you can too
Why can't I write lately?
softcomponent Jul 2017
as the air slithers thru my barely-opened window,
and the lisdexamphetamine begins its pulsing thru
my veins, I think of my abrogation of poetry for
manic intellectual pursuit at the highest academic
degree. The pace of an angry, deletrious, passionate
mad gift of insanity that will always leave me with
un-relieved pressure in the mind, migrated to the
solar plexus, where it builds and builds and builds
until the steam must exit lest I explode in the trapped
heat and experience a heat-death perhaps not unlike
that predicted for our universe, billions of years from now.

And I asked myself a question I recognize someone has
already asked and answered for me.

"What is a poet?"

Hello?

I asked, "What is a poet?"

Soren Kierkegaard glances up from his study in the office
I've established for him in my mind. He repeats the question
for clarification, and declares:

*“What is a poet? An unhappy man who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music.... And people flock around the poet and say: 'Sing again soon' - that is, 'May new sufferings torment your soul but your lips be fashioned as before, for the cry would only frighten us, but the music, that is blissful.”
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