You told me I could never have the sky

It was not mine to take
Only there to be gazed upon but forever out of reach

Looking back and up right now i stretch out my hand
To touch the stars you gave to me
And love these ones instead

You clipped my wings and when I mourn somehow
It will forever be for you.
You have never known pure fascination
And for that I pity you

Better to have loved and lost
Than never flown at all.

The guilt kicks in
Tears run down these cheeks
Bedrooms dark,
thoughts become bleak
Haven't eaten for a week
All these feelings consuming me
Torture my heart, ripping it apart
All these drugs just aren't enough
To cleanse me of all my mistakes
Tried locking all the memories away
And nothing seems to be working for me
I'm pushing through each day
Looking for a reason to live
And everything I've tried to give
Hope has been stolen out of my pocket
I've been left an empty shell of nothing
Thought I was something
When I was with you
Truth is I'm nothing
unless I have you
To keep me grounded
You were the one
that reinvigorated my soul
You were the one that brought me up
When I was low
When you were around
I never felt alone
You were my safety, my home

©2017 Written By Benji James

I don’t need your pity flirts.
I don’t need the charm
that melts off your lips
like ice cream on a hot summer day
right off the cone.
I don’t need those eyes of yours
judging the shape of my body,
sizing up my insecurities and shortfalls
like I’ve got no place to call home.
I have plenty of love in my life;
real and genuine and always present.
I don’t need you to feel
like you can do your community service here.
I am not in need.
I’m not alone.
I never was, and I never will be.
So, I don’t need you.
Never did, actually.

always the bridesmaid, never the bride
you have no idea how many times i cried
asking, "why me? why not me?"

well, for starters
i always oversleep
my eating habits are on repeat
i've worn the same clothes, same filth
for three days this week
i don't make an effort because i'm not going out
but no one asks me out because i don't make an effort
i write love poems i never send
i creepily covet people i consider friends
while my heart is stuck on the same old trend

hearts
yours and mine
your heart
pure and prone to breaking bones
my heart
crippled and casually crashing cars
the destruction duo
probably foreshadowing if i'm honest

i never get any rest
purple hues rise to the surface
furthermore, my life lacks any zest
and to top it all off
no matter how hard i've tried
i know i'll probably never be satisfied
so yeah
maybe that is why